Rocks and Hard Places
by MissStarlett
Summary: Sixth year has begun and Lily Evans is dealing with the fact that she might be in love with James Potter. But has James moved on? And what is Sirius up to? Changed to M 14/09/08... Just to be safe.
1. It shouldn't be me

Sixth year is beginning and Lily Evans is coming to terms with the fact that she might just well love James Potter. But has James moved on? And what is Sirius up to?

So I've decided to edit this a little bit. Things may have changed with later chapters.

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**ROCKS and HARD PLACES**

It shouldn't be me.

It never occurred to me that it could happen to me. I was always a firm believer that there was somebody out there who we were all destined for. A world of 6 billion people. Any one of them could have been the one. But no. Was there some being that wanted to ruin my life? There must have been otherwise this wouldn't happen to me. Would it?

I was never one for breaking hearts. I say hearts plural because I probably broke his, albeit unintentionally. I put it down to a very rational hatred. I was never really popular or fantastically pretty. I had a temper but I blamed that on the colour of my hair. I had my friends. I'd had boyfriends. I had boys who were friends. There was always one anomaly to this. I was friends with his friends. He was friends with mine. But with me? Nothing but pure hatred. His friends assured me he liked me. Mine assured him that I hated him. Did I? I honestly can't remember. Perhaps it was the one too many times he asked me out. Or maybe that he often pulled pranks at my expense. We didn't get along well. Quips here, arguments there. Me shouting at him, him asking me out, me getting more angry than anyone thought possible. I thought it was natural. Not everybody can get on with everybody else right? There is always somebody out there who you'll hate right? They say there is a fine line between love and hate. I didn't realise just how fine that line was. I didn't realise that I didn't actually hate him until it was too late.

My friends assured me that it was just a fling. Not that I cared obviously. That train ride back to school they were all wary of me as I sat in the corner staring out of the window. I don't know how the topic got onto him. Probably because Mary was mooning over Remus again. They were whispering away so quietly that they thought I couldn't hear them. Then I heard it. "James is going out with..." They caught me looking.

"Carry on. You can mention his name you know. It's not like I'm going to fall over and die!" I said.

Jenny was the first to speak up, "Sirius was telling me the other day how bored he was." I sat listening to her intently, "I bumped into him in Diagon Alley so we went to Fortesques." The other girls didn't know whether to hang on to Jenny's words or watch my reaction, "James has been seeing that Megan girl from Ravenclaw so Sirius has been either on his own or with Remus and Peter."

Megan. She was a 6th year prefect. I knew her of course through being a prefect. Long brown hair, pretty face, deep blue eyes. She was quite short though. Quite the opposite of me I think. I got on with her quite well. We'd often studied charms together in the library. She was nice. Not James's sort at all. But then, who was I to know who James did or did not like. I guess if she was my opposite then she was better for him than I could ever be. He obviously hated me and made good on his promise never to come near me again. Thank Merlin for that. Just one problem. I never meant to say what I did to him last year. I went further than I ever had done. But it wasn't my fault. Not entirely anyway. In my defence he provoked me. Picking on Severus was the second to last straw. The last one was having the cheek to ask me out whilst doing it.

My friends had continued chatting after my "Poor Sirius, I hope that his holiday was alright. He didn't say much in his letters but I heard he bought a motorbike." This sent the girls off in a frenzy. I'd tried my best not to even think of James. He'd apologised so much since the incident but I'd had enough. I'd lost all my respect for him, what little of it there was anyway. I had. I kept saying to myself that I'd had enough with his behaviour. Who was I trying to kid though? Myself? I'd had a lot of time over the summer to re-evaluate my relationship with James. We'd been getting on quite a bit before the huge scene he'd made. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think I hated him at all. Just found him supremely annoying. I'd actually begun to like him shortly before our OWLS. He'd been extremely useful when studying for Transfiguration. Stop it! Stop thinking about him!

I'd just changed into my uniform when a flash of black hair wound its head round the compartment door.

"Sirius! A minute sooner and you would have caught us changing you little git!" Mary cried.

A crooked smile appeared on his handsome face and his eyes lit up at the chance of provoking some unrest, "Well that was what I was aiming for Mary my dear but unfortunately I missed. I'll just have to try harder next time!" he grinned and earned himself a swipe from Mary and a few blushes from Jenny and Elizabeth. "Guys, they're here." He called back outside of the compartment. He turned back to face us still with the same mischievous grin. He caught my eye and winked causing me to roll my eyes at him with a friendly smile. "Remus and Pete will be here in a minute. Peter wanted to get some more pumpkin pasties."

"What about James?" Lizzie asked, "Will he be gifting us with his company?" She laughed.

"Nah, he's somewhat occupied." Did I sense a hint of irritation in Sirius's voice? It seemed that he was less than thrilled that his partner in crime had other activities. I tried not to think about it.

"Hey guys." Remus I saw, had not changed one bit through the summer. Peter looked a little more overweight but so would anyone when they were stuffing their face. They were greeted with a chorus of "hello's", "great to see you's" and "how were your summers". It was pleasant seeing the marauders again. Well three of them anyway. It was fun with the marauders. They always had exploding snap cards and interesting pranks being planned. A few games of exploding snap and a couple of singed eyebrows was all it took for time to go whizzing by. This was home for me. Being with my friends. Going to school. Playing ridiculous games and generally having fun. We all took turns chatting about our holidays and OWL results. It was nice to be in some company who understood my life. My parents tried but they would never get used to magic. It was alright though, they loved me and they very much understood that straight O's was fantastic.

"Red, can I borrow you for a second?" Red was Sirius's name for me. He was the only one who could get away with it. I was generally so embarrassed by the bright colour of my hair but from him it was just a friendly thing. Most of the girls in school were probably jealous that I had a nickname and they didn't. What could I say? I was a marauders girl! I chuckled and looked up from my book to see him standing by the door beckoning me with his finger.

A chorus of whistles came from the girls as I stood up. "Shut up you guys, it might be something serious."

"Yes it is me. Clever Lily!" he said patting me on the head like a puppy. I scowled laughingly at him and pushed my way out while the others burst into laughter. If I could get on with Sirius so well, why couldn't I get on with James? I turned to look at him as he closed the compartment door.

"Come on then, spit it out Blacky boy. Why are you singling me out?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're OK." My jaw dropped. Did I hear correctly? I must have done because he was looking at me quite solemnly. "Lils, I know you don't hate him and I was wondering all summer if you were as OK as you were making out to be. It's been a long time to put a face on." I must be hallucinating. He reached out to stroke my hair and looked at me with what appeared to be love in his eyes. "Lils. This might not be quite appropriate, but I really care about you." His hand was still playing with my hair wrapping it around his finger. He was watching his action very carefully as I was standing shocked like a statue. His face was torn. I couldn't tell what he was thinking I just knew that this wasn't a chance for joking. He locked his grey eyes with mine again. "You have the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen." Still I watched, "You're probably the most important thing in my life, with the exception of my bike." I snorted, he smiled. I could feel the heat coming from his body and I was mesmerised.

"So this is how you get all those girls." I choked with a hint of laughter. I'd thought my voice was beyond me. He laughed at me and brought his hand up to caress my shoulder.

"This shouldn't be me." He whispered. He was so close now. I could feel his breath tingling on my lips. Our noses touched. His eyes were closed and his fist was clenched around my hair. My breathing hitched. I understood what he meant. But why me? My arms seemed to have a mind of their own as my hands reached for his hair.

"Sirius." I whispered. He looked at me. Our lips touched. Softly at first as a tender caress built up. Why me? I didn't understand why me? Where had it come from. He pulled away quickly.

"Lily, I..." I looked up at him with wide eyes, "I shouldn't have done that.' He turned on his heel and left through to the next carriage. I was completely bewildered. What had just happened? I was trying to get my head around it when I heard footsteps approaching.

"Evans." I knew that voice. I looked up and there he was. Complete with messy hair and rimed glasses. My heart tore as I saw the look of disdain on his face. I drew myself up from my leaning post against the wall.

"Potter." I said as cordially as I could putting all thought of what had just happened out of my head. "What can I help you with?" I asked as kindly as possible. He seemed shocked by my question.

"I was looking for the guys." He was still tall. Nearly a head taller than me and I'm tall.

"They're in there." I said pointing to the compartment. "I was about to go in myself, I could get them for you."

"I don't want you to go to any trouble." He slid past me trying not to touch me. I slinked back against the wall. He smelled good. Why was I even thinking like that? I closed my eyes trying to block out every thought about James and Sirius. It was difficult trying to compose myself. He walked into the compartment and I followed oblivious to the stares at me and the greetings to James. As I sat back down and resumed my book. "Where's Padfoot?" James asked everyone.

"He was talking with Lily." Mary replied when I didn't reply for myself. Hmm, what to say? What to say indeed. Everyone was staring at me now waiting for an answer.

"He went to see a man about a dog." I looked at James with a faint smile. My smile was returned as he understood that I knew.

"Which way did he go?"

"The way you didn't arrive because then you would have seen him." I quipped. I heard a lot of sighs from my friends. Oops. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so harsh. "Sorry, I mean, he went in the direction of the sweet lady. Something about bogey flavoured beans."

"Thanks."

"No Problem."

"I'll be off then. You coming guys?" he obviously meant Remus and Peter.

"We're alright mate." Remus said.

"Yeah, we were just about to start another game of snap." Peter continued while Mary, Lizzie and Jenny rolled their eyes.

"Alright, catch up at the feast then. Ladies." He mock saluted as he shut the compartment door. I released the breath that I didn't realise I'd been holding. Everyone turned to look at me.

"What?" I asked, "Just because we don't always see eye to eye, doesn't mean I can't be civil."

"I knew you liked him really." Lizzie said under her breath.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Now, what are the terms this game? Loser does a dare?" All focus was back on the pack of cards that Remus was now dealing very carefully. We were nearly at school now. I could hear the beginnings of my stomach grumbling. I was looking forward to enjoying the Hogwarts House elves first feast of the year. Roast beef and Cherry pie.

"SNAP!"

"OUCH! Pete that hurt!"

School hadn't even started but it was already an interesting year.


	2. Awkwardness Aside

Awkwardness aside.

Those first few weeks were strange. I was being as nice to James as I could possibly be while I watched him run around with Megan. It was difficult but I found that continuing to call him Potter and not spending a moment alone with him made it slightly easier. Fortunately, we didn't have a single class alone; we were generally joined by at least one of the marauders and one of the girls. Saved from stinted conversation and impossible questions. Things were still quite awkward between us. They were more awkward still between Sirius and me. He really hadn't spent a single second alone with me since the train. He always made sure that whenever he spoke to me, we were in a crowded room or the library. Never on our own. He made a point of ensuring there were lots of us heading down for dinner, lunch or breakfast. To everyone else this was just normal Sirius behaviour but they didn't know what had happened. And thank Merlin they didn't because that would just cause another barrage of questions that I really didn't want to answer.

I was spending a quiet evening in the library catching up with some Transfiguration homework. I'd skipped dinner in favour of taking a sneaky trip to the kitchens before I headed back to the common room. I loved the library. It was always nice and quiet and it had an amazing smell of old books. I was sat at one of the tables in the back of the room partially hidden by bookcases but I had a perfect view of the door to see who was coming and going. He was so quiet though that I didn't even notice he had sat down until he cleared his throat. It startled me into looking up too quickly and accidentally knocking my ink bottle over.

"Damnit! Urgh, all over my parchment!" I was not impressed.

"Oh, Lily I'm so sorry, I didn't realise..."

"It's fine Potter." I siphoned the ink up with my wand. Great, another bottle of ink wasted. I was really running low, "What pleasure do I owe for your presence?" I asked looking at him with a resigned frown on my face. Very attractive.

"I saw you sitting over here and thought you might want some company but I can see you're busy so I'll go." I have no idea what possessed me to shout,

"No!" far too eagerly. He stopped and looked at me. "I mean, no, I'm not too busy. This old thing isn't due in until Monday." I smiled at him and he came back and sat down at my table. "So, what really brings you here?" He looked at me briefly before continuing with his first excuse.

"I saw you and though you might like some company." I looked at him blankly.

"That's not the reason. The real reason please?" I was digging for some information but what he said next surprised me.

"Fine, I wanted to get away from Megan so I told her that I had an assignment due so I would be spending the night in the library. I came in and you're the only one in here that could back up my excuse if she deigned to find me. Naturally her work is all done and she just put my lack of organisation down to me being a Gryffindor." I chuckled. "What? What did I say? Is it against the law to want a night off from boyfriendly duties?"

"Sorry James. I just find it a little funny that's all." He grumbled something incoherent about girls. "Well being as you're here, I could do with picking your brains." He looked at me expectantly. I wasn't about to start a conversation about that though, "Could you give me a hand with this Transfiguration essay? I'm stuck trying to find out about animagi and I thought you or Sirius might be able to help. Of course, Sirius isn't here so you'll do perfectly." He'd caught on that I knew about his little secret and he gave me a small smile before snatching up my essay and reading it through.

"You've done pretty well." I smiled. It was nice being told I was doing OK, especially from him. "There are a few bits and pieces you're missing but nothing that can't be fixed." He glanced up at me and our eyes locked. "We can go through it now if you like?" I didn't understand why he was being so nice. I nodded in reply so he started pointing to some chapters from a few books that he thought would be helpful.

"Thanks James." I said a while later.

"What for?"

"Well, for helping me out silly!" We both laughed. "Despite having to work, you've made it fun."

"You see, Lily, I'm not as bad as you think I am." I smiled. "Lily..."

"James, I..." I started but I didn't think I had the confidence to go on. He was looking at me expectantly. He really was quite something to look at. My heart felt as though it had caught in my throat. "I want to apologise for my behaviour last year."

"Lily, it was all my fault. You..."

"No, it's fine. Look, tonight has been fun. Perhaps now that we've both put that behind us, we could just be, you know. Normal?" I was making the first move. Something I didn't expect that would ever happen. I had been quite obstinate about that. What was I thinking? Was I really that bad? Now I began to think about it, if I was chastising myself, then my friends must have noticed.

"Lily, I think that would be..." I held my breath. What was he going to say? No? Yes? I love you? Wishful thinking. Besides, I didn't really need any more problems. Sirius was bad enough, an angry Megan would be worse. Not to mention the questions that would be asked if James and I... I could NOT think those thoughts. "Great!"

"Huh?" What had I asked? Oh right. Friends, yes. "Oh, well. Erm yes."

"Lily, you can breathe now." He chuckled and I turned bright red. "I really had fun teaching you transfiguration this evening."

"Thank you." I thought I was beyond words. He was getting a bit too close now.

"I'm going to head back up to the common room, you coming?" Huh, and risk the questions and the stares? Not to mention the glares. My stomach took advantage of my silence to remind me that I hadn't eaten.

"Um, actually, I skipped dinner, so I'm just going to pack up here and go down to the kitchens. You head up though." He smiled and bid his goodbye. I let out a huge sigh of relief. Well that was interesting to say the least. I began packing up my books. He owed me an ink bottle I decided. The next Hogsmeade trip was next week so I'd get one then. Urgh, Hogsmeade. That reminded me that it was Halloween next weekend. Dumbledore had promised a dance. A Halloween ball if you will. I had to buy a dress. More to the point, I had to get a date. Could I go alone? I'd have to talk to the girls about this. I decided that my best choice of friend who would keep my secret would be Mary although I was contemplating sending a letter to Alice. She would know what to do. Alice first then Mary. It couldn't harm having two opinions right? My stomach grumbled. Food. I picked up my bag and headed out of the library.

It wasn't a very long trip down to the kitchens but it was long enough to be practically run over. There I was, just walking down the corridor, when the object of my current thoughts best friend came hurtling around the corner smack bang into me. "Ouch! Watch where you're going. You are aware that there is no running in the hallways?" I couldn't help myself, it was my inner prefect jumping out.

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sor... Lily?" Oh hell, it was Sirius. "Lily, no time to talk. Hide me, Filch!"

"Shut up Black. Get to the wall and keep still and quiet." I pulled out my wand and performed a quick disillusionment charm turning Sirius almost invisible. I wasn't the best at charms for nothing. I quickly stooped to pick up my bag and its contents that Sirius had knocked from my shoulder.

"Miss Evans, I don't suppose you've seen a Black running this way." Filch was possibly the most disgusting man in the world, he had a musty smell about him that made me want to gag.

"Yes, actually, he ran into me. He went that way." I told Filch pointing the opposite direction to the kitchens. Before I could stand up, Filch was gone and Sirius had come out from the shadows. I pulled the charm off him. "What the hell were you doing? Don't answer that, I don't want to know." He looked at me gratefully.

"Where are you off to Miss Evans?" he asked obviously aware that I wasn't going to the common room. My stomach grumbled loudly. "Kitchens it is then. I wondered why you weren't at dinner." I tried to ignore him as he walked beside me. All these weeks and he had avoided being alone with me. Now he was acting as though nothing had happened. "So why weren't you at dinner?" he asked as we reached the kitchen entrance. I tickled the pear and walked inside. I waited until I had sat down and ordered my food before I answered him. I could feel his eyes on me. It made me feel strange, as though he was mentally...

"I didn't think you of all people would notice being as you've practically been ignoring me for the past 6 weeks." Wrong thing to say.

"Of course I would notice. How could I not? I notice everything about you." I looked at him. He'd said this very nonchalantly as he began picking at a chicken leg. He noted my silence and looked up. It was though he was waiting for a better reply to his question.

"I wanted to get some work done in peace. I went to the library." Still he looked. His silence was unnerving so I continued. "I was also avoiding having to listen to Potter's girlfriend fawn all over him. It's hard enough to eat when normal people are so sickening but when it's going on right in front of..." I trailed off. "Why were you running away from Filch?"

"Reconnaissance mission." Simple reply. So he was alone with me but wouldn't say anything beyond flat sentences.

"Filch seemed pretty angry, you must have been up to some" I didn't get to finish my sentence because he was over the table in a flash with his lips on mine. I was frozen with the shock until I felt my lips begin to warm to his. My arms wrapped around his body as his hands wove into my hair. His stubble was tickling my chin but his lips were soft. We broke apart gasping for breath.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now." He said. "I couldn't trust myself being alone with you because I didn't know what I would do. I didn't know how you would react." I looked up into his eyes. His long hair was falling into his face. I reached up a hand to brush it out of the way. He caught my hand and brought it up to his lips only to kiss my wrist. His stubble tickled. "James was adamant that he was over you. He isn't you know." Oh go and ruin the moment why don't you Sirius. "This shouldn't be me, but I can't get you out of my head."

"Sirius, why? Why me?" I had to know. My affections were being torn two ways. I didn't know which way to look. James, who was taken and Sirius who had never been serious about a girl in his life.

"Go to the Halloween dance with me."

"Sirius."

"Please." I couldn't help myself. He was dazzling me. His smile, his eyes, his scruffy hair. His Kiss. He was asking me. He could ask any other girl but he was asking me. Could I trust him? He was Sirius. My very good friend, Sirius. My very good friend who had kissed me twice, Sirius.

"Yes." I whispered. And we were kissing again. He held me so close that I could feel the muscles in his hard chest. When he finally pulled away he just stared at me with his unreadable eyes.

"Come on, let's get back to the common room." He grabbed my hand and began to pull me to the door. I held back hesitantly. "They'll be wondering where we are." He said softly and I followed him. His hand was so large in mine. So rough yet soft. He was so gentle. My thoughts were all over the place as we walked back to the Gryffindor tower. I didn't even realise we were there until Sirius stopped just outside of the door. "Will I get you alone again in the next week?"

I nodded. He was holding my hands and caressing them with his thumbs. "Is this going to be our little secret?" It was his turn to nod. "We have a free period tomorrow after lunch."

"Tomorrow it is then." He kissed my fingers, "I'll meet you outside by the lake." And just like that, our tryst began. We had a chaste kiss before we climbed through the portrait hole together, but not together. Our friends were all sitting in the common room in front of the fire. James was the first to look up. My eyes locked with his but I looked away. What was I doing?

"Sirius! We've been waiting for you to get back. Did you get it?" Peter, always over enthusiastic, broke our friends conversation.

"Nah mate, but I did come across something else." He said with a huge grin on his face. As he walked over to sit with our friends, he looked back and winked. I smiled and went to join him. Mary and Jenny had been wondering where I was.

"I went to the library and then to the kitchens. Sorry I missed dinner. Anything interesting happen?" Could it have been any more interesting than my night? I don't know. I wasn't listening. The two people I most wanted to be friends with again, both were now speaking to me and I was confused. What was I going to do? How would James react to Sirius taking me to the dance next weekend? Of course, Hogsmeade was still up for grabs. Any takers?

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A small thank you to my Big Brother for proof reading and to JKR who provided the characters and anything else you recognise :D


	3. What They Don't Know

I am only JKR in my dreams

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What they don't know

It didn't take long for my friends to start noticing the new friendship between me and James. It was nice finally being able to laugh and joke with him. Of course, the first time it happened our friends looked like their jaws were going to drop off. They needed an explanation which James so kindly gave them. Sirius spent the entire time watching me. It was a good thing that nobody was watching him or me because the looks that were sent between us... We were sitting across from each other and taking full advantage of it. I'd been having a lot of fun winding him up under the table with my foot. His face was ready to burst. Just a little bit further...

"Damn! I forgot my er, book! Yes, forgot my book. Must go and get it." Sirius said moving away from the table very quickly and ignoring my smirk. Too far? I was looking down smirking into my breakfast while everyone else was questioning Sirius's bizarre actions.

"What happened? He looked like he'd been stung by a bee." Lizzie questioned.

"Does he know it's Saturday? He doesn't need books because we have no lessons." Remus added. They all looked very confused so I decided there might be a little explanation needed.

"We're going to the library. Catch up on a bit of homework." I said still not looking up from my breakfast. All eyes were on me now and I could feel the holes burning.

"Sirius doesn't study." Mary said bluntly.

"I know. But I do. And I need help with my Transfiguration essay and he said he had nothing better to do so..." I shrugged my shoulders. Was my excuse enough? James was watching me carefully as I poured myself another glass of juice.

"It's very odd that he'd react that way about a book though." Jenny said. Are they getting suspicious?

"I told him I wanted an early start so I could have the afternoon to myself." I could see him walking back into the Great Hall, fists clenched, book in hand, "Ah, there you are Sirius, ready for study?" I stared at him until he got the message.

"Right, yes. Let's go. Library?" I'd already done my essay so there was really no need.

"Actually, I have all the books I need, just need to borrow your brains. McGonagall let me use the Transfiguration classroom for practice." I said as I swivelled off the bench. Our friends were watching us very closely. Not transfiguration practice. Although I figured that would give us some extra time alone. "Come on, you know I need my afternoon." I winked at him and he caught on. "Was that alright?" I whispered to him as we walked out together.

"More than alright." He breathed into my ear. I wasn't sure if we were going to make it to the classroom. It took quite a bit of self control to get there.

When I finally made it back to the common room, Mary was there waiting for me. I needed to tell her. I wanted to tell her. Keeping this secret was killing me. I also needed to talk to somebody about James. I could see her looking at me as though she was patiently waiting for an explanation.

"Lily, I'm going to ask you a question and you can hit me if you don't like it but I need to know." I looked at her. Had she guessed about me and Sirus? I sat down and waited for the question. "Is there something I should know about James?" I breathed a sigh of relief. It was James she was worried about and not Sirius.

"Mary, if I tell you something, you have to promise to keep it a secret. From everybody." She nodded her agreement, "Come on, let's go to the dorm so we can escape prying ears and eyes." She followed me up the stairs to our dorm. As we sat on our beds she looked at me.

"Are you?"

"No! Mary, no! Nothing like that. James is with Megan. I can keep my feelings under control you know!" Oops, that just slipped out. My hand covered my mouth in shock at what I just said.

"I knew you liked him! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Mary, just sit down and listen. There is more to this than you think." How was I going to start? She would understand so I just started from the beginning. "I've never hated James. He just got on my nerves some times. I was actually starting to quite like him until..." She knew that story. "We were having such a good laugh last year and it was really nice being around him. It was almost like he'd had a personality transplant. I honestly didn't mean what I said to him at the end of last year and I regret it. But we're friends now and that's all that matters. While he's with Megan, there is nothing I can or will do. I think I'm happy just being friends with him." I could see her drinking my words in. "I like him. A lot. There. Happy? But I just want to take the time being his friend. Besides, if he ever found out what I'm about to tell you, he'll probably hate me." Mary looked confused. "He'll find out next Saturday anyway. You all will once you see who I'm going to the Halloween dance with."

"Lily, I don't understand. Why would he hate you? He's absolutely one hundred per cent in love with you. What could possibly be so bad that he would hate you for?" How was I going to say this? Be blunt. That usually works.

"I've been seeing Sirius." I was expecting a big uproar. I was expecting to be slapped. I was expecting anything but this.

"How long for?" she asked quietly.

"Since Wednesday. I know it's not been long but..."

"You're right." She said.

"About what?"

"He will hate you. He'll hate Sirius more though. We've been wondering about the girl who Sirius has been mooning over. If it's you. Oh, Lily, why?"

"Because James has moved on. Besides, you know what Sirius is like, he'll move on as soon as the next hot thing comes along. It's just some fun." Mary looked at me as if to say 'that's no excuse.'

"I think we need to find a way that you and Sirius can go to the dance without James being too hurt. He may find out about you in the long term, but it won't help if he finds out now."

"Oh, Mary, thank you."

"Shush, Lily. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for James. He's so happy you are friends now and I don't want that to change."

"I'm sorry Mary."

"It's alright. I believe that everything will work out in the end. Let's go and get Sirius and discuss this shall we?" Mary was such a strong and lovely friend. She would help me out no matter what and this situation was no different.

"I'll talk to him about it tomorrow. For now, do you want all the details?" She hesitated for a few seconds as though battling with her conscience. Finally she flopped onto my bed.

"Come on then, all the gory details. Is he really as good a kisser as everyone says he is?" And that's why I love Mary. We settled for an afternoon of girly chat, only surfacing when Lizzie and Jenny came to get us for dinner.

Dinner was fairly uneventful with the exception of Mary's continuous whispers in my ear of 'Sirius is looking at you' or 'James is watching you again.' I was beginning to wonder if telling Mary was the best idea after all. It was after dinner when we were all walking back to Gryffindor tower that Sirius held me behind the rest while we chatted. Once they were out of whispering ear shot,

"Did you tell Mary?" He hissed. Was that anger or amusement?

"Yes. She was going to find out anyway. And she pointed out something that we didn't think of." I whispered back. That pacified him. "She pointed out that we don't have to tell James about us when you take me to the dance next Saturday." He was hooked, "All we have to do is make up some story about how you hate all the girls crowding around you for a date and then I'll say I'll go with you as friends just to shut everyone up. How does that sound?"

"It would be fine, but I want you to be there as my girlfriend." He said this so quietly I wasn't sure if I heard correctly.

"Your girlfriend?" he nodded, "Sirius, think about James."

"Lily, he's moved on and he will have to get over it."

"He'll hate you and you know it. Don't put your friendship to the test just because of me. I've just made friends with you both and I can't lose you again." Well it was the truth. I really didn't want to lose either of them again.

"Fine. As friends. But you'll be joining me afterwards right?" I blushed. How could he be so brazen? What was going on in that blackened mind of his? No need to question. When it came to Sirius Black, everything had a fine layer of dirt on it.

"I think I can manage that." We smiled and carried on walking to catch up with the others. Nobody appeared to have noticed our absence. That's what I thought anyway.

It was really warm in the common room. The fire was blazing hot and it was exactly where my friends intended on sitting. The marauders headed up to their dorm 'marauder business' so Sirius said. And that left Mary, Lizzie and Jenny with me.

"So Lily, you found anyone to go to the Halloween dance with yet?" Lizzie asked me, "We need to go shopping for costumes."

"I haven't really been formerly asked yet." Yes I have you liar! Mary looked at me with a smirk plastered on her face.

"I'm sure you'll find someone." Jenny said. "Lizzie is only asking because she wants to rub it in that she has a date already." Lizzie blushed.

"Who? I didn't even realise people were asking already." Mary asked. I knew she was hoping Remus would ask her. She had been practically in love with him ever since 3rd year.

"Aw, Mary, Remus will ask one day. I could go get him to ask now if you want." Mary blushed and shut up straight away. I noticed the marauders making their way down the stairs. Prank plans over then.

"Lils, that wasn't nice-" Jenny didn't get to finish because she was interrupted by a 2nd year girl.

"Lily Evans? Benjy Fenwick asked if he could see you outside for a bit please." The 2nd year almost died when Sirius walked up behind her and asked,

"What does Fenprick-" I glared at him, "Fenwick-" he corrected, "want?" I could only imagine that there was some kind of animosity between Benjy and Sirius. James also looked interested. I noticed that Remus was looking a bit nervous. That was down to three things though. The first had just happened, the second was that he was going to ask Mary out (finally!) or the third was that there was a fight imminent. I sincerely hoped it was the second. James whispered something into Sirius's ear that seemed to calm him down. Sirius now was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Well," I said as I got up from my comfy seat, "I best go outside and see what he wants. Probably prefect business." Somebody snorted and James look thoroughly amused.

"I don't think it's prefect business Lily." He said with a smirk. "Come on Padfoot, let's join her. This will be fun to watch." James began to steer me to the portrait hole, "Remember Lily, it's OK to say no." OK what did they know that I didn't? Sirius and James were both sniggering now and the girls were following us. Looks like I was going to have an audience.

Benjy was waiting a little way down the corridor when my posse of people clambered out of the portrait hole. I suddenly felt sorry for the poor guy. Sirius pushed me forward to speak to him.

"Hi Lily." Benjy said nervously. Oh dear lord, he was going to do it wasn't he. Oh no! What was I going to say? I could kill the marauders for doing this to me! And they were all there watching.

"Hi Benjy, what's up?"

"Erm, well, you see," This was getting worse by the second, "I was wondering if you would go to the dance with me. As my date." Well here we go. Excuse time. Except I never had a chance to speak.

"Actually Benjamin my dear fellow, Lily is going to the dance with me." Sirius put an arm around me as he spoke. Benjy's eyes widened. I glared at Sirius. Well I was going with him, but he needn't have done that to the poor guy.

"Erm, yes. Sorry Benjy. Sirius said he'd take me as friends and we already have costumes so..." What else was there to say? I'm sure he'd find another girl. Well that was embarrassing.

"Oh, OK. Sorry then. I'll see you in Potions Lily. Black." He left. I pushed Sirius's arm off my shoulder and turned to glare at him.

"Red, you could at least say thank you." He said with his cocky grin.

"You idiot! What did you do that for? I know you hate him but you didn't have to embarrass him like that." I left. I was actually surprisingly angry. Who knew that my anger for James could be displaced to Sirius so easily?

"Lily! Lily! Wait up!" It was James of all people running after me. Why could the Gods just not leave me alone? Why was he running? Surely it should be Sirius doing the apologising? "Lily, just stop!"

"What? What do you want James?" did I mention I was angry?

"I'm apologising."

"What the hell for it's not your-" His hand was over my mouth. He was touching me. Merlin's socks! That was enough to pacify me. I'm in far too deep.

"Shush. Now I'm not going to remove my hand until I've finished and don't bother licking it because a) you don't know where it's been and b) I'll like it." I gave him a dirty look but he just grinned. "I sent Sirius to get rid of Fenprick, sorry, Fenwick. So I'm apologising. I mean, if I can't go with you, then I'd rather it be Sirius. At least he won't try anything on." That's what you think. "So, we cool?"

I nodded and he removed his hand. "I wish you wouldn't do that." I whispered while looking down at my shoes. He lifted my chin with his hand.

"Do what?" my heart was thumping so hard. I was sure he could hear it.

"This. You shouldn't be here."

"Who cares?" he was gazing intently at me. "Lily."

"Don't ruin the moment James." We stood there just looking at each other. It was impossible not to love him. What was I getting myself into with Sirius? Right, James had a new girl now. So why the hell was he here? "James, I think you better leave. I don't want anybody thinking... You know what this school is like."

"Just don't be mad at Sirius." He stood for a moment looking as though he had something on his mind. His conscience obviously won over because he left pretty quickly. Oh James, what you don't know.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed :)


	4. Rocks

Still not JKR :(

* * *

4. Rocks

I didn't stay angry with Sirius. I wasn't angry with James either. How could I be angry with either of them? Sirius more than made up for his indiscretions by being very indiscreet. His flirtations were upped and I'd heard there were rumours that Sirius had finally met somebody. Yes. Me. I wasn't entirely sure how long this would last for. It was fun being with him though. He made my nights very interesting indeed and contrary to popular opinion, he hadn't even tried it on. Not that he would have to try very hard.

Despite everything though, I was still falling for James. I couldn't help the jealousy that overwhelmed me when Megan draped herself over him at breakfast, lunch and dinner was becoming harder to deal with. Most nights it was tempting to skip dinner and head to the kitchens. But tonight, the night before the Halloween dance, I was dragged almost kicking and screaming to the Great Hall because Mary wanted to discuss the Hogsmeade trip and which costumes we were getting. Why couldn't I just be left in peace? Lizzie and Jenny were studying for their astronomy lesson and Remus had disappeared off for his monthly. This left Mary, Sirius, James and I to enjoy riveting conversation. Where was Peter now I came to think about it.

"So I'm thinking that Marilyn Monroe would be a good idea. It wouldn't take me long to put my hair up. What do you think Lils?" I was staring into the back of my spoon. Holy Merlin, had my hair been like that all day? "Lils?" I sincerely hoped not. And what the hell was that in my teeth? "LILY EVANS!"

"What?" Could a girl not get any peace? Oh great, now the whole table was staring. "Sorry Mary. Spaced out."

"I was talking about costumes for tomorrow night."

"Oh, yeah. Sirius said something about matching or something." Mary stared at me. "What?"

"Were you actually listening to anything I said?" I looked down at my bowl of custard sheepishly, "Just be up and dressed tomorrow morning. I'll talk to Sirius about what you're going as." Why couldn't I be normal and interested in costumes and things? I was going to go back to staring into the back of my spoon when a sickly voice spoke those oh so nasty words. The sickly voice that was the reason why I now hated dinner.

"Jamesie wamsie! I missed you sho much!" Oh for the love of socks would somebody please give that girl a lobotomy. Maybe then she would shut up!

"Hey Megs, how was your day?" I groaned. Don't make her speak any more. Sirius, who was sat beside me, sniggered. I glared at him then elbowed him ever so slightly hard. I tried to drown out the whine as Megan started drawling on about something that really wasn't interesting. Seriously, how did James stand this?

"So Sirius," Mary said over my head, "What plans do you have for yours and Lily's costume for tomorrow night?" I was going to drown this conversation out as well until Sirius replied something very disturbing.

"I was thinking we would go as the Banana's in Pyjamas." This had me sitting bolt upright.

"Oh no we are not!" How could he? Was he being serious?

"No, we aren't. But I had to say something to get you interested. It's better than you staring at yourself in the back of a spoon all night. I mean, you already know you're gorgeous." He said with a big grin on his face. Why I could just... kiss him. But not here. Besides, he'd also unwittingly caught James's attention. And Meggie Weggies.

"Aw, what are you two going as? It's so nice of you Sirius to take Lily. Heavens knows you could take any other girl but you were so kind." Blood boiling. Getting angry. Mary was smirking. James was shocked. Sirius looked peeved. She was completely oblivious. "Jamesie and I are going as a Knight and a Princess. I already have two costumes picked out."

"I have to er... leave." I said, getting up. "Mary? We have to er, you know"

"Right, of course. Yes. Bye." James looked up at us with pleading eyes. Hah, serves him right for having an annoying girlfriend. Let's go. Merlin knows how I'm going to get through tomorrow night if this was how Meggie Weggie was going to act. As soon as we were out of the hall, Mary burst into laughter.

"Christ, you should have seen the look on yours and Sirius's faces when she said that!" Yes Mary, I was aware that I was peeved. "If looks could kill..." She would have been dead the moment I first saw her and James together. "Do you think we should have left Sirius there?"

"He'll deal with it." My tone was startlingly snappy.

"Lily, are you OK?" Was I? I couldn't have it both ways. I wasn't allowed Sirius and James at the same time. I wasn't allowed James at all. So why did it bother me so much? I had Sirius so it shouldn't bother me.

"I... I just don't like Megan I guess." Understatement. Mary obviously understood because a second after I said it, I felt her arm around me. I looked up at her, "I like him, Mary. What am I going to do? I like him but I like Sirius. I have Sirius but I want James." I sighed as we carried on walking.

"You're really stuck between a rock and a hard place." She's telling me! Perhaps now Mary knew the truth about where my feelings lay, she might be a little more helpful. "Has he made any move?"

"No. Well not really. He's just been spending a little more time being more polite recently. There hasn't been much else." I didn't forget about the other night when he came after me. He seemed in control of his actions though and maybe I was just over thinking it. Of course he'd be concerned for his best mate.

"And you still like Sirius?"

"More than ever."

"Well then, there's nothing more to do. Unless James makes a move, which he won't do once he knows you're with Sirius, then I think it's safe to say that there is no harm in being with Sirius."

"What about Megan?"

"Lily, unless James knows you are truly interested, he isn't going to get rid of her very soon." I was looking and feeling glum. Why did I feel so guilty being with Sirius, well Mary had just answered my question in so many words. While I was with Sirius, there would be no reason to moon over James. "Let's just get tomorrow out of the way shall we and then we can worry about your feelings." Mary laughed, "Only you Lily. Only you."

"Speaking of marauders, Remus asked you out?" It was her turn to blush. I knew something had gone on between them. Just yesterday Mary wasn't looking forward to the dance and now it was almost all she could talk about. We'd just reached the common room so we flopped on one of the plush sofas in front of the fire.

"Yes." I spill all my feelings to her and all I receive is a one word answer. Not good enough Mary MacDonald. I cleared my throat to gain her attention. "What?"

"Don't say what, spill. What happened? How did it happen? When? How did I miss this?" Seriously, how did I miss it? I was sure... wait just one minute... "You cheeky... How did you... Do you know what? I don't care. I just can't believe you didn't tell me sooner." Mary just laughed.

"Oh, stop grumbling Lily. I'm going upstairs to practice doing my hair. I found this really helpful charm, just point and... well I hasn't worked so far." I rolled my eyes, "Hence the practice. You coming to help?" That sounds like riveting fun. Just what I always wanted to do with my Friday night.

"Actually, I have a letter that I've been meaning to send to my mum. She might start to worry soon so I better go and post it." She just wanted gossip. I'm sure the only thing she wanted more than gossip was for me to have a love life. That would explain the 'dates' she used to set me up on in the summer holidays. Well, hopefully this gossip should satisfy her until my mid twenties. "I'll just pop to the owlery and I'll be right up OK?"

"Sure thing. Tell your mum 'hi' from me."

I hated the owlery. It was always full of poo and dead bits of animal. Also, it was the most freezing place on earth and when it was really windy, I was sure I could feel it sway. Anyway, apart from freezing my butt off and getting poo all over my shoes, it didn't help that I found the owls quite scary. I think it was irrational because these owls were perfectly trained. Why couldn't wizards use a different form of post.

I'd just finished tying my letter to one of the school owls legs when a beautiful eagle owl came swooping down from the rafters. Yes it was beautiful but it also scared the hell out of me.

"Holy Merlin, what the hell?" Well it surprised me! I heard a chuckle coming from the direction of the door. I turned. Mistake. My breath caught in my throat when I saw who it was. "James?"

"The one and only. Sorry, did Albert scare you?" Remove shocked look from face. Check hair with hands. Smooth down skirt. Wait... Albert?

"Albert? Who calls an owl Albert?" he chuckled again. Oh dear lord stop doing that! My legs could go to jelly you know!

"Me." Simple. "Bertie for short." Bertie? As in the beans? Now I know he was going crazy.

"Bertie isn't shorter."

"I know." Pause. Awkward? Maybe I'm just making it awkward? "I better post this. My mum... she'll be expecting gossip." Mothers! What are they like?

"Mine too. Hopefully this gossip will shut her up for a while." He was tying his own letter to Berties outstretched leg.

"Something juicy?" Wouldn't you like to know? I stayed silent just watching him. Stalker much? His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows revealing his lean, muscular forearms. "I want to apologise."

"What for? What have you done this time?" I was laughing, was I flirting? He chuckled again.

"No, no. I want to apologise for what Megan said at dinner. She was out of order." Oh that.

"It's OK. Really. She was just voicing the same thoughts that every other girl in Hogwarts is having." Yeah, those being 'Why her?' Mine being the same.

"I'm heading back to the common room, you coming." He held the door open.

"Sure, this place smells and I'm in need of warming up." I swear I heard him mumble something along the lines of 'I could warm you up' under his breath. Back in the corridor, I asked James something I didn't think I would ask him. Ever. "Is everything alright with you and Megan?" he didn't answer straight away, instead taking some time to think.

"Things are fine... We're fine. She doesn't really like the guys though." And they don't like her. "I'm bored of having to spend all my time with her and her friends. Whatever happened to lives outside?" I had no idea what to say without looking like a jealous little girl. "I don't think Sirius likes her much." He said glumly. Hey, you're not wrong. We were nearing the Gryffindor tower now. "Lily, I really am sorry for what she said earlier. She had no right."

"James, honestly it's fine." Lily, shut up, you're talking rubbish!

"I'm glad Sirius is taking you. I'd rather him than anyone else." Now who's sounding like the jealous little boy. He stopped just before the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"James, I'd rather go with-"

"I know it makes me sound like I'm jealous. I am." You're what? "If I can't take you to the dance, then I'm glad Sirius is." You want to go to the dance with me? "You don't know how hard it is when the likes of Benjy Fenwick ask you out." Hard eh? What were you ready to do? "I thought I was going to punch him when he was trying to ask you the other night." Are you reading my mind? "I care about you Lily." No. Not reading my mind. Hey, what? You care about me? He looked down to the floor. I definitely wasn't expecting what he said next. "You have poo on your shoe."

I looked down, "Ah crap." We laughed.

"My sentiments exactly. Here, let me." He knelt down and picked up my foot. His hand was warm on my skin. He pulled out his wand and cleaned my shoe. But he didn't put my foot back down. He was thinking about something, his face had a pained expression on it. His hand ran up my calf. Oh Merlin I'm going to fall over if you don't get up right now.

"James." I whispered hoarsely. His hand stopped. I put my foot back to the floor. He was still kneeling so I knelt to join him. "James?" He looked up. Our eyes met.

"I'm so sorry Lily." I was about to say 'what for' when a voice interrupted our thoughts.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Sirius. That knocked some sense into my head. I stood up and James followed my lead.

"James was just cleaning my shoe for me." I smiled brightly, "Hey, I have to go help Mary perform a charm. Something about hair. We must look beautiful for the dance." It wasn't that I wanted to be away from Sirius. I wanted to be away from male company. As I skipped through the portrait hole, I heard Sirius ask,

"Cleaning her shoe?"

"Yeah, she stepped in owl shit." The laughter I could still hear when I reached the girls staircase. Urgh, Men!


	5. What A Nightmare

5. What a Nightmare

There is one thing than I hate more than owls and that is dancing. I can't dance. At all. Let's say I have two left feet except that I'm worse than that. I seem to have a distinct lack of balance when it comes to anything with high heels. I can't wear them. So when I do, I lose all the grace that I have and end up looking like a plank. Actually, I look worse than a plank. I look like a fish out of water. All flip flopping around. Needless to say, dancing tonight will be an actual nightmare. And now, here was Mary, primping and preening me and making me look like an oversized doll and I didn't even dare look at the costume.

Apparently, Sirius was a big fan of nudity because his first idea was going as Adam and Eve. That idea was met with a flat stare from me and a punch in the shoulder from James. Sirius's next idea was Doctor and Nurse. His exact words were, 'You'll look hot as a nurse, I'll let you give me a check up.' Needless to say, those words were accompanied with a wink, a very dirty grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows and followed by a slap around the head from Mary,

"Drag your thoughts from the gutter, Black!" Eventually he got round to saying that he'd always liked Peter Pan but he didn't want to be the little pansy. I agreed to go as Tinkerbell if he went as Hook. Not exactly matching but at least they were both something we wouldn't mind. The unfortunate part was that I'd left Mary to organise the costume. Big mistake.

So here I was now, covered head to toe in glitter, which had been charmed to only fall off if I jiggled, attempting to put on a green strapless top and tiny skirt that barely covered my bum. I had some same colour hot pants for underneath the belt that Mary called a skirt. Was that a redeeming feature? Mary had also picked out some gold stiletto platforms. I almost killed her when I saw these. So right now, in the last few minutes before I had to leave the comfort of my room, I was searching for a charm to help me keep my balance. Seriously, did she want me to fall and break my neck?

"Mary, I'm seriously questioning our friendship." I moaned as she pulled my charms book from my hand and fixed my shoes on.

"Lily, if it helps any, you can just hold on to me the entire time."

"Yeah, and that will make you really happy when you're having a three way dance between you, me and Remus."

"Four way dance, Lily dear." I looked at her blankly, "Sirius?" Oh right. How could I forget? I pulled on my wings and picked up my wand. "Ready!"

"Me too, let's go!" Mary had gone with her Marilyn idea and she'd forced Remus to go as Elvis, a picture that I couldn't wait to see. Mary had finally mastered the charm to get her blond hair to look identical to Marilyn's and she'd really done the white dress to perfection. Why did she get the nice long flowing white dress when I was stuck in next to nothing? "Right, ready to make our grand entrance?" Her cherry red lips were curved into a bright smile.

"No. But I'm as ready as I'll ever be." This was it. First step was OK. Second step and still no fall. Third step, oh no. The stairs are coming up. Breathe. It's an irrational fear. I'm holding onto Mary. She won't let me fall. She won't let me fall. That was it! I'm down the stairs! I made it! And there was Sirius in all his pirate glory, watching me with a huge smile on his face. I positively beamed and made to walk towards him but no. My balance gave way and I was tripping. I was falling. Falling. Still... falling. Into the arms of somebody? My eyes were screwed shut.

"You can open your eyes now Lily." James? I opened one eye. Yes it was James. I opened the other and he helped me back to an upright position.

"Erm... Thanks." WOW! He was Hot. Yes with the capital 'H'. I gave an appreciative glance up and down. He definitely made a good Roman Soldier. "Who are you?"

"Uh, Lily? It's James. Did you hit your head?" Don't worry James, I'm not going to forget your name in a hurry.

"No, I mean who are you supposed to be?"

"Oh, right. Marc Antony. Megan is Cleopatra." How... quaint. A cough interrupted my thoughts. Wait a second... He's not dressed as Captain Hook!

"Ah, Sirius, don't you look handsome! But you look nothing like Hook!" He really didn't.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. I have a hook." It was true. It was also attached to his sleeve and not his hand. A very sexy pirate he made indeed. Oh, dear lord, he was examining my clothes. "You look er... very... erm..." Oh, dang! I looked terrible. I should never have let Mary choose my clothes. I glanced over at her standing with Remus. What a pair they made. Remus had gone for the old style Elvis look as opposed to the nasty spandex, lycra wearing years. "Wow, Lily you look amazing." Sirius finally finished. He took my hand and made me twirl for him.

"And look, if I shake my ass." As I wiggled, glitter fluttered to the floor. We all laughed until James interrupted by saying he was going to be late to meet Megan.

The Great Hall looked fantastic with charmed pumpkins scattered around holding fairy lights. The house tables had been replaced with booths and small tables around he edge of the hall and the normally parquet flooring had been transformed into a disco dance floor. There were already groups of students dancing but I wasn't going to be one of them. I had barely made it down to the hall. Eventually, Sirius had picked me up and carried me down.

"You can dance on my feet." Sirius whispered in my ear. I blushed and giggled as he carried me onto the dance floor.

Eventually, Sirius had had enough of dancing and carried me over to the booth where Remus and Mary were sitting. "I'm going to get drinks, red, back in a bit."

I could see Mary itching to say something by the way she was almost willing him to leave, "So you two look comfortable." Remus looked at her questioningly.

"Yes, and the stares are driving me insane." I said. I'm obviously not going to clue Remus in.

"I think I'll help Padfoot with the drinks." Remus pecked Mary quickly on the cheek before scooting out of the booth.

"Oh, my God. If you two got any closer! I swear James was almost going into a fit." James? Where was he? Was he watching me and Sirius? "You weren't really doing very well at looking platonic!" Mary hissed. "And before you ask, James has gone off to find Megan. She ran off in a huff when James refused to dance on account of the fact that she wanted to dance like you and Sirius were doing and he was only wearing sandals. He said she would hurt his feet. Needless to say, she took that as him meaning that he thought she was fat... anyway!" I looked up at Mary's abrupt finish. She was looking over my shoulder. I turned quickly to see who she was looking at but all I found was torso. Masculine torso.

"Erm... I can't find Megan so I thought I'd... er... come back." James sat down quite suddenly. I suddenly felt my lack of dress and felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Luckily for me, the lights were dim so he couldn't see.

"So, Lily, Arabella Whiting was looking at you as though she was about to claw your eyes out." Mary giggled. This was just what I needed to stop thinking about the handsome roman soldier that was sitting just a little too close for comfort.

"Yes, and Georgina Green. Who knew that Sirius had so many-" What was that on my knee? That's a hand. On my knee. And it isn't mine. Or Mary's.

"Lily? Sirius had so many?" The hand moved away.

"Admirers. Who knew he had so many admirers?" What was James up to? I chanced a glance at him but he was looking away.

"Yes, it seems he has so many. Yourself included Lily." What was I supposed to say to that? He turned to look at me with a glare.

"Well, you were the one who told him to ask me out." There. If he had a problem with Sirius and me, then it was his own fault. Well, not really but he didn't know that.

"Ah, ladies, we return with drinks!" Finally. I want to get away right now. I fear that I may want to hit James Potter.

"Sirius. It's really hot in here, could we go outside?" Mary looked at me pointedly as though she was saying, 'What do you think you're doing?' Well I couldn't care less.

"Of course." James moved out of the way so I could get up. I avoided looking at him but I could feel the burn of his glare as Sirius walked me out of the Great Hall.

We sat outside in the courtyard on one of the stone benches. Urgh! How could James do that? One second he was being nice and then the next second... I sighed. Sirius put his arm around me and pulled me closer. It was only then that I realised I was cold. Sirius was so warm, I snuggled into him. He seemed so at peace just staring at the stars. It was at that moment that he chose to look at me. His hand reached up to my hair and he wound my curls round his finger. He claimed my mouth with his. Kissing Sirius was so different. His stubble tickled my upper lip. He pulled away as quickly as he'd began.

"Hmm, cherry." I blushed and giggled slightly. My favourite lip gloss. "I like it." He grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh shut up!" I laughed and then pulled his face back to mine. It was only a short time later that we were interrupted by a cough. We pulled apart and looked at the intruder. Oh. Crap. Sirius stood up.

"Remus!" I looked between Remus and Sirius. "Remus, it's not how it looks. Well, it is. But there's more to it." Shut up! Christ. He's going to tell James.

"I knew something was going on. I think you better come back in now." That was it. He turned with a swish and made his way back into the castle.

I stood up and grabbed Sirius's hands. He looked down at me. "Oh crap."

I tiptoed and placed a chaste kiss on Sirius's lips. "We couldn't keep it a secret for long. Somebody was bound to find out. In a way, I'm glad it's Remus." Sirius leant his forehead against mine.

"Oh, Lily. Lily Evans, do you know what you do to me?" He all but growled. No. I really didn't. "Come on." He pulled me back towards the castle. I knew we weren't heading back to the Great Hall. Not tonight.

* * *

If I'm still JKR then I must still be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. OUCH! That hurt! OK still not JKR then :(

I dedicate this to Chappers. The first of many dedications going her way.

Next time: A look through James's eyes.


	6. Seeing Things

6. Seeing Things

Why? Why did I tell Sirius to ask Lily to go to the Halloween Ball with him? Even if it was as friends, watching them was just too much. Especially with what Lily was wearing. Or rather what she was not wearing. I don't know what was worse. Having the want to jump Lily or kill Mary for dressing her. The little stunt Lily pulled by wiggling her... I couldn't look. I would have done anything to take her there and then. But I couldn't. I promised her not to interfere with her again. It was bad enough that I'd been spending more hours in the library helping her with her Transfiguration homework than I had with Megan. Staying away from her was the only way I could stick to my deal.

I thought I was doing well with hiding my feelings as I danced with Megan. Occasionally I would glance over at Sirius and Lily. This was only to see them both with huge grins on their faces, chatting away while Sirius danced with Lily on his feet.

"James, why are you holding me so tightly?" Megan moaned.

"Oh, sorry." I said loosening my grip and smiling down at her. She really was very nice when she wasn't moaning. She looked lovely tonight as Cleopatra. Her hair just perfect and her outfit divine. So why couldn't I stop looking at Lily? She and Sirius whirled past again. Lily sprinkling glitter as she went.

"James, let's go and sit down for a little bit and get a drink. You need to loosen up a little bit." She pulled me over to the drinks table. I'd spotted Mary and Remus climbing into a booth just a bit ago. There was no way I was sitting with Megan's friends. They were just a little bit annoying. I pulled Megan over to sit with Mary and Remus.

"Hi James, Megan." Mary welcomed us. "How is your night going?" Megan launched into what she had been doing for the entire day. I'd already heard most of this story and exchanged a look with Remus that said 'mate you are about to be bored out of your brains.' My gaze wandered back onto the dancing groups and couples. Sirius and Lily were dancing even closer together now. I saw him bend down to whisper something into her ear. It must have been funny because she threw her head back with laughter. Her eyes were sparkling and her cherry lips formed the prettiest smile I'd ever seen. And it was put there by my supposed mate. It looked from here like Sirius was using his old tactics on her. Stupid womanising...

"James? James?" I hadn't realised I'd been gripping the table quite hard. Megan was tugging on my arm. "James, why can't we dance like them?" Megan pointed out to the couples.

"Sirius and Evans?" Had she seen me staring?

"Yeah, like me dancing on your feet." She was starting to whine now. I glanced at Mary who shrugged and then at Remus who did the same. Great help.

"Erm, I'm not sure that's a good idea Megs. You might hurt my feet." I was not going anywhere near the dance floor again while Lily was still there.

"Are you calling me fat?" Megan whined. What?

"No. Megs, no!" I really wasn't!

"I don't want to hear it, James. I knew it! I knew you thought I was fat." She got up to run off. I glanced at Remus and Mary who both again did nothing but shrug.

"Megan, wait! I only meant I'm wearing sandals!" Oh Merlin. Now I have to run after her like a good little boyfriend. Urgh! Girls could be so annoying. I ran after her, assuming that she'd left the Great Hall. I was searching for what seemed like ages before I gave up and walked back to the ball.

Mary was sitting at the booth with Lily and it was her that spotted me first.

"Erm... I can't find Megan so I thought I'd... er... come back." I sat down quite abruptly. My closeness to Lily made me suddenly aware that she was wearing so little. I thought I could see a faint blush rising on her cheeks. The light was so dim that I could have been wrong. If anything, she was probably angry with me for not asking if I could sit next to her.

"So, Lily, Arabella Whiting was looking at you as though she was about to claw your eyes out." Mary giggled. Yeah, and I was staring too getting quite ready to avarda my best friend. I definitely saw a blush this time. There must me something more than just friends between her and Padfoot if she was blushing while talking about the nasty stares she was getting.

"Yes, and Georgina Green. Who knew that Sirius had so many-" I didn't quite know what I was doing by putting my hand on her leg. I just wanted to... You see, this is why I don't go near her. Because I might do something stupid.

"Lily? Sirius had so many?" I pulled it back. She'd probably slap me now and all hell would break loose.

"Admirers. Who knew he had so many admirers?" I looked away now, getting angry at the fact that Lily seemed to be quite in awe of Padfoot.

"Yes, it seems he has so many. Yourself included Lily." What possessed me to say that? I was getting angry and I turned to fix her with a glare.

"Well, you were the one who told him to ask me out." Touche. It was my own fault. I'd practically given Lily on a plate to Sirius. As far as he was aware, I didn't like her anymore so she was fair game. I looked away from her. Sirius and Remus were coming over.

"Ah, ladies, we return with drinks!" I couldn't help but think that I might want to punch my best friend right now. He had Lily where I'd been trying to get her for years. And she was enjoying it.

"Sirius. It's really hot in here, could we go outside?" Lily asked. Yes. Leave now. Before I hit you Sirius. Or before I jump Lily. I don't know which one I'd do first.

"Of course." I got up so she could climb out of the booth. It seemed like she was avoiding looking at me. Didn't even say thank you. I glared at the happy couple's backs as they walked out of the Great Hall.

"You need to calm down James, where Lily is concerned." Remus told me as I sat back down.

"And talking to her like that is no way to get into her good books." Mary said pointedly, "Actually, scrap that." Huh? "You're already in her good books, talking to her like that will put you in her bad books and I really don't think Lily wants to do that."

"What do you mean I'm already in her good books?" Mary slapped her head. Was I being stupid or was she angry with herself?

"Forget I said anything." She said too much then. "It's just Lily doesn't actually hate you James. She just doesn't like how you can be so arrogant sometimes. Contrary to popular belief, she doesn't like shouting at you and she has actually... Just be nice, James."

I had no idea what Mary was getting at. All I seemed to hear was that Lily doesn't hate me. Well, we were now friends. And she hadn't bitten my head off with the shoe incident.

"Shall we go for one more dance, Remus?" Mary asked. Remus nodded before getting up.

"We need to talk later." Remus hissed at me before Mary dragged him to the dance floor.

That didn't sound good. I watched my friends dancing for a little bit before I decided I should probably resume my search for Megan. I was definitely in her bad books. The path I took led me out of the Great Hall and towards the courtyard. Considering it was Halloween, it was a surprisingly warm night. I couldn't help think that there might be some magic involved. I thought I was alone as I was gazing up at the stars. A small giggle pulled me out of my reverie. I looked over to the benches and saw Lily and Sirius looking very cosy.

"Shut up!" I heard Lily chime and then she pulled his face to hers. I gulped. They hadn't seen me. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't watch but my eyes were drawn to what seemed to me like a car crash gone wrong. I turned and left as silently as I'd arrived nearly knocking Remus over in the process.

"I'm looking for Lily and Sirius, they've been gone a-" I didn't give him a chance to finish because I just pointed back to the courtyard and stormed off. I must have had murder in my eyes because everyone I bumped into on my travels backed off with scared looks on their faces. Eventually I found Megan, talking to some of her cronies. I yanked her back to me and before she could say anything, I pressed my lips to hers. She would make me forget. I pulled back and whispered,

"Let's get out of here." She just nodded and I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards her common room. Every now and then, I would stop and kiss her so fiercely. She remained speechless for the entire journey back to her common room. I was glad for that. It seemed so long before we got back. We practically flew across the common room floor to the girls dorms. I stood in the middle of the dorms as she closed and locked the door.

"James?" She whispered. Oh, I wish you were... I turned to look at her. Her innocent eyes shone in the dim moon light. I closed the gap with one, two steps and pushed her against the wall. Kissing her with more ferocity than I'd thought possible. You _will_ make me forget. I _have_ to forget. I picked her up, lips still locked. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I carried her to her bed. Tearing off her dress, she whimpered. I stopped. I couldn't do this. Not to her. Not tonight. I'll regret it. She was just lying there looking so innocent. Her deep blue eyes were pools of emotion.

"James." She whispered again. She was unbuttoning my shirt now. I was torn. I had to do this to make me forget. But she would regret it in the morning. I would regret doing it in the morning.

"Megs." I whispered. She looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"James, stay with me." She wasn't ready. I nodded and kissed her forehead. I slumped to her side as she snuggled into me. I closed the curtains around her bed so we could have some privacy from the other girls. She eventually fell asleep while I was staring up at the canopy.

I'm going to get over you Lily Evans. Even if it kills me. I'll get over you.

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No I'm not JKR because I'm not asleep and dreaming.

Another chapter dedicated to Chappers. She likes this one ;)


	7. Easier Said Than Done

A little interluding chapter that makes a very nice link.

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7. Easier said than done

I don't quite understand what I've done. James seems to be ignoring me completely now. Sirius tells me not to worry about it. James just seems to have grown a lot closer to Megan since the Halloween Ball. Nobody else notices and Mary won't tell me what's going on. She's been talking to James a lot recently. I've seen them in the library together. It's like they're conspiring against me or something. Every time I go to join them, James get's up and makes some stupid excuse to leave. I don't even bother asking any more. I'm tired of building up hope every time I sit down, that maybe today James will stay. He never does so what's the point?

Remus didn't talk to me or Sirius for a week after the dance. He came around as soon as he found out that Mary knew about us. I've seen him talking with James and Mary in the library as well. Nearly a month it's been. James and Megan seem to have become closer as well. I don't go to dinner any more, favouring the kitchens instead. I wasalone more frequently than I liked. Mary was always with Remus, Lizzie had managed to jump Alexander Brown at the Halloween Ball. Jenny spent all of her time hanging with the Hufflepuff's because she wanted to get on Charles Babbing's good side. Even Peter had managed to find a girlfriend. Sirius was being Sirius so I was on my own.

I'd decided that if James was going to avoid me, then I wasn't going to go near him. I'd started getting up super early so I could have an early breakfast and head to the library before classes started. I stopped for lunch, only to pick up a few sandwiches and an apple and head back to the library. And of course, this was my second week of spending dinner alone in the kitchens. I was officially becoming a social recluse. Of course, my grades had never been better. And everybody was happy. Except me. Sirius was a great comfort at night. Which reminded me. That night of the Halloween Ball, James didn't come back to the dorm. Sirius had been a perfect gentleman that night. And he still was. But James. I couldn't help but wonder if James and Megan had... That's the only reason I could think of as to why they had become closer. I missed James's company. I wanted him back. He obviously wasn't going to talk to me, so I had to make the first move.

What was that move going to be? I had no idea. All I knew was that I wanted to talk to him again. I wanted to not have to sit on my own in the kitchens because I hated the sight of Megan hanging all over him like a leech. I just wanted James Potter.

I decided to make a few changes to my daily routine. Putting on a little make up in the mornings, a slick of lip gloss and a little mascara. A little bit of blush when I was pale. Wearing my nice lingerie helped boost my confidence and I'd shortened my skirt ever so slightly. I left my hair down, now only pulling it back for potions. I felt nice. I looked nice. I went to breakfast at a normal time. James wasn't there. I went for lunch. James wasn't there again. Dinner and when he didn't turn up, I became slightly worried. He'd been in all of the day's classes. I was in my own little world now. I practically ignored my friends conversation. I'd obviously not missed much judging by the snippets I did hear.

I was sat in Defence against the Dark Arts busy taking notes. It had been one of those days that just goes so slowly. It was the last period before lunch and I was feeling the hunger. We were learning about Vampires which was proving to be quite boring. Mary was almost falling asleep next to me. I glanced around the room. Sirius was playing with a ball of parchment. Remus was staring into space and James... James was taking notes.

I was staring at a parchment when some unexpected writing appeared.

**You're beautiful you know. **

I looked around the room again. Everybody was either day dreaming or taking notes. The writing came up again. It was a familiar cursive but I couldn't put my finger on where I'd seen it before.

**I can't take my eyes off you.**

_**Sirius, stop being silly.**_ I wrote back. It must have been Sirius. There was nobody else that had looked at me all lesson.

**It's not Sirius. There's something between you two?**

_**Who is it that cares?**_

**A friend. **Oh so helpful.

"And there ends our lesson for today. Next week we'll be meeting a Vampire. I expect you to all be here bright and early on Monday morning." Oh great. Now the mysterious note maker was free to leave. Whoever it was was certainly perceptive. I stuffed all my things into my bag to head out of the classroom.

Upon leaving, Sirius wrapped his arm around my waist. "Coming to lunch, red?"

Mary, Remus and James were up ahead talking in hushed voices again. "Yes. I'm starving. I can't believe I made it through that lesson!"

"That was your stomach making that grumbling noise? Merlin, let's go and get you some food!" With that, he grabbed my hand and started running to the Great Hall. I was laughing as he pulled me straight through the middle of James, Mary's and Remus's line. Smack into James. As much as I wanted to stop and apologise, Sirius was still pulling me. I managed to twist slightly, shrug and mouth 'I'm sorry!'

x-x-x-x-x

For the first week after my promise, I thought I was going to fail. Remus had had the talk that he'd wanted. He'd told me to be careful where Lily was concerned. Even though Mary had let it slip that Lily didn't actually hate me, I wasn't to do anything rash.

I'd been spending quite a lot of time with Mary recently. Her company in the library made the days a little more bearable. After the first week, I plucked up the courage to ask her if anything had happened or was happening between Sirius and Lily.

"What? No! Whatever gave you that idea?" Mary squeaked.

"I saw them. Kissing."

"Oh." She knew, "I think you, Remus and I, need to have a little chat." At that moment, Lily decided to enter the library with her books held in front of her chest.

"Hiya!" She said with easiness about her. She looked so radiant today. As quickly as she sat down, I stood up. There was no way I was going to be able to study while she was there.

"Erm, I just remembered that I have to go help McGonagall with the... yeah, so I'll see you later." I wasn't exactly making it easy for myself. If this was going to happen every time Lily came into the library, I was going to have to start thinking of new excuses to leave.

She made avoiding her really easy after the first two weeks of my silence. She started not turning up for dinner. Then she would never be there at breakfast. And then she started only grabbing her lunch to go. I often wondered what she was doing when she wasn't in the Great Hall. Yes she was making it easier not to see her, but not seeing her only made me yearn more. Out of sight, out of mind my foot. More like, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I began spending more time with Megan so I could forget about Lily. We never even went half as far as... Anyway, she was helping somewhat in making me forget. I was still feeling guilty for what I did at Halloween so spending time with her was also helping to ease that guilt. It hadn't even occurred to me that Megan might be the reason that Lily was avoiding meal times until Mary suggested it during one of our study sessions.

"Anymore thoughts on why Lily isn't turning up for dinner anymore?" I said, peeling my eyes away from my Charms textbook to glance at Mary who was twirling her quill.

"Actually, she did mention something along the lines of Megan getting on her nerves. To be honest, I don't think she really likes her." I let Mary continue to rambling; this was turning out to be quite interesting. "I think her exact words were, 'can somebody please shove cake in her hole to a) make her shut up and b) put some fat on that skeleton.' Yep, I really don't think she likes her. Of course, it doesn't help that she has to watch her drape herself all over you. I mean public displays of affection, Lily really doesn't like but when it involves you... well..." She began writing on her parchment.

"Well? What?"

"She likes you James. Can't you see that?" I shook my head, "She hated the fact that you're avoiding her, so she decided to avoid you. Make both hers and your lives easier. It obviously isn't working though." I notice she's still writing. How on earth does she conduct a conversation and write an essay at the same time?

"But she's seeing Sirius." I notice she's still writing. How on earth does she conduct a conversation and write an essay at the same time? She stopped for a second and looked up as though contemplating something.

"You're seeing Megan." Touché. She went back to scratching away at her parchment.

"But she hasn't even deigned to tell me about Sirius." This made her stop, put her quill down and turn fully to look straight at me.

"Why would she want to James? And Sirius knows you still like her and wouldn't want to hurt you until he knows you are over her which, obviously you're not because you're mooning over her like a lost puppy. That and the fact that whenever she turns up to dinner, you're always there with Megan, rubbing it in her face with all your disgusting displays. It's no wonder she doesn't want to tell you anything. She doesn't have to tell you diddly squat. You don't own her. She can see whoever she wants." Thanks Mary, you seem to put the whole world into perspective.

"I do not make disgusting displays of affection!" I think that was a little indignant even for me. Also note how I choose to ignore the 'I don't own Lily' fact. Mary is right.

"Oh, shush James, you do too. And to be honest, even though I'm with Remus and I make my own displays of affection, yours are just... James, it's just sickening. What do you even see in Megan anyway?" She asked.

Do I tell her the truth or do I just sit here and let her have a go at me?

"I'm trying to forget Lily. I want to get over her. Properly. And Megan is supposed to be helping. More time spent with Megan, less time thinking about Lily." I told her the truth. There we go. She now knows the whole truth as to why I'm really avoiding Lily.

"It's not helping though is it?" I stared at her blankly. Was this girl for real? "I don't think you should be trying to get over Lily at all. I mean, all this ignoring her is probably making her want you more. She's probably up in the dorm right now trying to pick something to wear to make you stop avoiding her and actually pay attention. She's crafty like that. Although, she should probably realise that you can't ignore her anyway and if she does something a little differently, you'll be all over her like a rash." Mary is very perceptive. She should get some recognition for that. "Of course, what she won't realise is that Sirius will be exactly the same." Mary picked up her quill again and continued scratching away. Damn, I forgot about Sirius. And Megan as well. Urgh, complications that a guy really doesn't need. "Just work on being her friend, James."

Yeah right, easier said than done. Especially when she walks into breakfast the next morning, her hair down, some blush on her cheeks and her lips tinged with pink. What had she done to her eyes? They were so bright I could barely see anything else. All day, I could barely take my eyes off her. She was actually torturing me. When I did manage to tear my eyes away, I saw that the change wasn't going unnoticed. Apparently, I wasn't the only one to notice Lily Evans that day. I almost snapped my quill in half when Sirius turned to me in Charms and said, 'Damn, Evans is looking hot today.'

That just about sent me over the top. When I returned to the dorms later that day, I grabbed my broom and stormed straight back out. I needed to fly. I needed some form of release of all my pent up frustration. I couldn't get down to the Quidditch pitch fast enough. Finally reaching my destination, I mounted my broom, gripped the handle and kicked off hard. The rush was amazing. The release was what I needed. Alone with the wind rushing past me, the exhilaration taking over...

It wasn't enough though. I knew the feeling well. Dinner wouldn't help the situation so I skipped it in order to get the dormitory alone. A little alone time was all that was needed. I could always go to the kitchens later.

Her slow torture continued for the next couple of days. I'd favoured cold showers in the morning over breakfast and the house elves were proving great company at lunch. Dinner I spent in the dorms releasing the day's frustrations. Mary was no help; she just smirked at my pain. And Remus, well he seemed to agree with Mary. Note to self, get new friends.

I couldn't help myself in defence against the dark arts. She had it coming. I just had to be very subtle. No glances. Complete pretence. I saw her glance around the room and that was when I made my move. When she looked back, I quickly flourished my wand over my parchment and voila, two way note paper between James Potter and Lily Evans.

**You're beautiful you know.**

I saw her look up surprised. She frowned at my words so I decided to send a few more;

**I can't take my eyes off you. **

Well it was partly true. I was still watching her out of the corner of my eye as she was glancing around the room with a suspicious look on her face. I pretended to be writing on my parchment as her gaze landed on me.

_**Sirius, stop being silly.**_

She really had no idea it was me. At this point I could really have put my foot in it. But curiosity got the better of me.

**It's not Sirius. There's something between you two?**

_**Who is it that cares?**_

**A friend. **

That would really annoy her. I wanted her to be annoyed. She'd made me frustrated for the past few days. It was her turn.

"And there ends our lesson for today. Next week we'll be meeting a Vampire. I expect you to all be here bright and early on Monday morning." No more chances for Lily Evans to find out what I'd done. I knew her lost chance would get her riled. I was right. I gave a quick glance around the room before I left with Remus and Mary and I caught her shoving her books into her bag with great ferocity. I smirked. Remus caught my grin and rolled his eyes.

"I saw what you did James, was that really necessary?" he said in a hushed tone.

"Well, I thought after all the torture she's put me through; I thought she needed a small bit of torture herself." I whispered back.

"James, that was you?" Mary asked. "Those notes on Lily's paper were from you?"

"I was bored, she deserved Ooof!" Something tall and red knocked into me. I gathered myself only to see Lily being dragged by Sirius in the direction of the Great Hall. I saw her turn in what seemed like slow motion. Her cherry lips formed a smile and she mouthed something, 'I'm sorry'?

It was at that moment that I realised, I love Lily Evans and getting over her was not going to work. I stood there like a fool, mouth agape and a glazed look on my face.

"Prongs?" A hand waved in front of my face bringing me back to earth, "Prongs! Are you alright?" I took a second to look at both Remus and Mary.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Let's go to lunch." Oh Merlin help me! I was whipped.

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So... I realise that I am NOT JKR in any way shape or form. But really now, I'd love some reviews hehe! I'd like to know what you're all thinking of my big hash of a story. I'd love to know about any continuity problems, any spelling mistakes... actually, just give me your worst blows hehe!

So, next chapter... a lovely little nugget of mine that I've been dying to write about. I must admit, the idea came from another fic that I've read but it will be quite interesting I think...


	8. Bathroom Interludes

This chapter may or may not be the reason why I upgraded to M.

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8. Bathroom interludes

Well, so much for careful planning working. All my hard effort had gone straight out of the window. James was well and truly avoiding me now. It must be me because I still see him talking to Remus and Mary. Hell, Mary gets more attention from him than I do. And he still talks to that girlfriend of his. She thinks that because she's his girlfriend, then she should be friends with his friends. And as his friends are friends with my friends, she therefore also thinks that she's allowed to be accepted into my friends' most intimate conversations. Well she's not. Urgh!

Anyway, after a hard week of work, I've decided to make good of the prefect bathroom. I needed something to help me unwind after the day I've had. I had a letter from my parents this morning practically ordering me home because Petunia has some silly dinner going on and my parents have decided that this might be the last Christmas we get to spend as a whole family. I hardly think that Petunia wants me at her dinner but rules are rules. I was quite looking forward to a quiet new year at Hogwarts but it looks like I'm going to be enjoying the views of Spinners End. Fabulous.

So, here I am. Taking a bath. It was well worth becoming a prefect in 5th year. This room is one of my favourites in the whole of Hogwarts. Mainly because it is made completely of white marble. Then because it has a glorious candle filled chandelier (an: See Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Chapter 25) and most importantly, the bath. It's enormous. And I'm still yet to try out the diving board. It sure is the best way to get clean. Fiddling with the golden taps, I've managed to get a very bubbly bath that smells of lavender. Perfect for a little relaxation. The only thing that was annoying me right now was the pathetic mermaid. She was awake today.

I was finally getting relaxed and contemplating how I was going t decorate my future bathroom like this one, when I heard the door creak open and slam shut quickly. I turned to see who it was that was intruding on my peace and tranquillity only to find,

"Potter?" Shocking isn't it. He whirled around to face me.

"Evans? What are you doing here?"

"Erm, not to state the obvious, but I'm having a bath." Stupid moron, "What the hell are you doing in here? You're not even a prefect, wait a minute, how did you get the password?"

A loud banging came from the other side of the door.

"Hush Evans. Just please tell Filch that it's only you in here."

A muffled, 'open up! I know you're in there!' came from the outside. I eyed James up carefully as he pleaded with his eyes.

"It's just Lily Evans in here Mr. Filch. I'm having a bath." I called out. I heard something muffle and then all noise stopped. James let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Evans."

"I don't even want to know what that was all about, now could you get out? I'm trying to have a peaceful bath." I said with as much spite as possible. We were obviously on last name terms again since he'd been avoiding me.

"I can see you're having a bath. It smells wonderful, can I join you?" He asked smoothly. Remember Lily, you're still angry.

"No you can bloody not join me. Get out!" I replied, getting ever so slightly angry at his interruption. He grinned. What's he up to?

"Evans, as much as I'd _hate_ to get out. I can't." His smile was even bigger now. Oh, he is so infuriating sometimes, the cocky git.

"Of course you can get out. There's the door, use it!" If he doesn't get out, I'm going to turn into a shrivelled prune. There's no way I'm getting out of the bath while he's here.

"Can't." He replied simply.

"Can't or won't, Mister Potter?"

"Can't and won't, Miss Evans." His grin now became very suggestive. I gulped. Was it getting hot in here or was it just me? I studied his face knowing that I was blushing profusely. "Can't, because I've put a charm on it and won't because... well, why would I want to when the company is so lovely?"

I ignored the second part of his sentence, "Well, why don't you remove the charm?" he walked over the bath side, removed his shoes and socks and rolled his trousers up before sitting down on the side of the bath and dipping his feet in. I tried not to look at his legs as he put them in my bath.

"Can't. Only a different marauder can do that. So can I get in or what? We could be waiting a while." Oh, get over yourself Lily. You've fantasised about this moment. Just say yes! I saw him look up and wave to the mermaid in her portrait. She blushed and dove into her painted water. Then he turned to look back at me.

As soon as I nodded my yes, he stood up and walked over to the white, draping curtains. "No funny business and no peeking!" I called out, watching his every move.

"Yes. No peeking now, Evans." He grinned. I sheepishly turned around while he took off his clothes. Now was not the best time to remember than I'm naked. For future reference, remember to only bathe in a swim suit. I heard a splash as he dove in.

"You can look now." I turned around to face a very muscular, very wet, James Potter sitting in front of me in the bath. His glasses were off and water was dripping from his hair. I blushed and he grinned. I felt my body tautening at the sight of having a very naked and wet James Potter in my bath. "You OK, Evans?"

"Fine." I managed to choke out. Just peachy except from the fact that you are right where I've wanted you for a while now and I can't have you.

"So as of today, you're going home for the holidays. Anything special planned?" Is this your idea of genteel conversation? I looked at him strangely.

"Erm, actually, my sister, Petunia, is having a dinner and my parents want me to be there. A meeting of two families I think. She's getting married you see." He nodded, "My mum thinks it will be the last Christmas as a family."

"Nice. My mum just wants me and Sirius to go home because she reckons next year we will have got ourselves killed." I laughed, "Yeah, she is a bit morbid is my mum." James chuckled.

"I'll miss Hogwarts though. I love the snow." I was fiddling with my hands as I said this. James must have thought I looked like a right moron as I play punched the bubbles. I slapped my hand down hard into the water, as though trying to punch it, sending bathwater and bubbles splashing everywhere. "Oops."

"Oh you did not just splash water all over me." He was grinning maniacally now.

"So what if I did? Not afraid of a little bit of water are you Potter?" I was goading him now.

"Oh, this is war Evans!" And with that, he sent a tidal wave of water in my direction practically drowning me. I got back up spluttering but with an evil grin on my face.

"Right, you're going down Potter!" An all out water fight ensued. Throwing water, dunking each other, splashing as much as we could without revealing too much of ourselves. At one point, I ducked under the water and hid behind some bubbles. I crept up behind James as silently and quickly as I could before sending a wave knocking him over. I must admit, I did see a little bit of bottom as he was pushed over.

"Nice arse, Potter!" I shouted as he regained footing. He didn't say anything in reply. He just started walking over to me with what could only be described as a smouldering look in his eyes. I backed up, worrying about what he was going to do. But he came closer. I took another step back but hit the side of the bath. His hazel eyes were now boring into mine as he took one, two more steps toward me. I was trapped. I brought my arms up in front of me just in case he decided to splash more water at me. Still my eyes were captured by his. My heart felt like it was racing. He snaked his arms either side of me to grab onto the ledge of the bath. He was now so close that I could feel his breath on my skin. My hands were pressed against his sculptured chest. We were almost nose to nose, I flicked my eyes down to his lips and back to his eyes. He moved his face slightly to the left. His stubble grazed my cheek and I gasped...

"Nice tits, Evans." He whispered in my ear sending shivers down my spine. He pulled back slightly, I made to cover my chest with my arms but he grabbed my wrists. He moved closer, our lips were almost touching now. My eyes were closed in anticipation, our breathing erratic...

"Prongs! Prongs, you in there?" Sirius. He was banging on the door loudly. I pushed James away from me, keeping my eyes closed and screwing up my face as I turned away. "PRONGS?" Sirius, go away!

"Yeah Padfoot! I'm just taking a bath, hang on a sec will you?" James shouted back. Was he as frustrated as I was right then? I turned back to look at James. He looked a little peeved and he punched the water.

"I'll get out first. No peeking Potter." I said with as much mustered anger as I could. As soon as he turned, I heaved myself out of the bath and pulled a fluffy, white towel around me. Walking over to the draping curtains, I heard James get out. I was finally behind them when his hand grabbed my arm and whirled me around.

"Lily... Evans..." He faltered for a second and looked at the ground. "You aren't here OK?" he said as he looked into my eyes once more. I nodded. He let go of my arm and I turned whilst he put his clothes back on. "You can come in now Padfoot!" he called. I heard some muffles and then the door clicked open. I felt James come up behind me. He placed his hand on my arm again and leaned in behind me. His breath tickled my ear as he whispered, "Please stop torturing me Lily Evans." And with that, he was gone. My blush was creeping up my skin. This wasn't going away any time soon and I couldn't help but think that it might come back whenever I see James in the near future.

"What took you so long?" James asked as soon as he'd rounded the curtains.

"I had to make sure the coast was clear. Moony had the map see and he was in the library. So I had to go from Hufflepuff to the library and then he wouldn't give me the map because Mary was there and she doesn't know about it. He told me where you were though so here I am." Long story Sirius.

"And what's the other reason?" Apparently James had been thinking the same thing. I heard Sirius mumble something, "What?" James asked.

"Well, I kinda bumped into that blond girl from Ravenclaw, you know your girlfriends mate? Sam?" I assumed that James nodded in reply, "Well, she wouldn't leave me alone until I... well..." Well, I couldn't really say anything. I'd just spent time naked in a bath with James. I didn't even feel guilty. Or jealous of whatever 'Sam' wouldn't leave Sirius alone for. "Christ Prongs! What the hell happened in here?" Sirius asked, amusement filling his voice.

"Water fight." James mumbled.

"With yourself?" Sirius scoffed.

"Nah, mate. With a prefect in the bath." I could almost see Sirius doing a double take on the bathroom as James said this. I stifled a giggle.

The bathroom door clicked shut. I was alone again. So much for a peaceful and relaxing bath. At least my mind was taken off the Christmas holidays for a while. I blushed again at the thought. Oh for the love of Merlin's socks. I may as well have a perma-blush.

I splashed my face with cold water and swept my hair up into a pony tail. I somehow managed to dress myself and leave the prefects bathroom. There was no way I would be able to sleep tonight, so I took a very long detour back to the common room. I wanted to avoid all possibility of blushing again for no apparent reason.

It was probably nearing midnight when I eventually ambled back into the Gryffindor common room. The fire was burning embers and the room was empty. I slumped into the sofa opposite the fire and gazed at the glowing shards of wood that were left.

"I thought I heard somebody come in and I was hoping it was you."

"Sirius? What are you doing up?" My mind was still revelling in earlier events. He stood their casually in his pyjama trousers, his hair slightly tousled.

"I was waiting for you. I want my goodnight kiss." So caring. I rolled my eyes before pulling myself off the sofa and walking over to the dormitory stairs. I gave him a hug and kissed him briefly. He stroked my hair and I whispered,

"Goodnight Sirius." I left him standing at the bottom of the girls' staircase. My mind was now racing with thoughts of both James and Sirius. What was I doing with Sirius when I wanted James? I crept into the dorm hoping that all the girls would be sleeping. They were. I climbed into bed after silently changing and pulled the curtains around me. I pulled out my battered copy of Pride and Prejudice and settled down to read.

I wasn't getting any sleep tonight.

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Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.

I'm having a little writers block with Chapter 10 so I thought I would update 8 in the meantime.

As always, I'm still not JKR unless I'm still in dreamland :)


	9. Mistletoe Mishaps

Ah, the aftermath of bathroom madness can only lead to one thing...

ENJOY!!

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9. Mistletoe Mishaps

I didn't sleep that night. And I didn't lose my blush for a while after that. I couldn't be in the same room as James without thinking about what had happened. We both remained resolutely silent at the dinner table, only speaking when we were asked a direct question. I'd told Mary about the incident in the prefects bathroom. Her response was completely unexpected.

"And you didn't kiss him?" Was her exact question.

Something tells me that Mary was more than willing to get me together with James. Well, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. We hadn't spoken since the incident. At first, I really wanted to ask him what 'Sam' had made Sirius do. I gave up on that pretty quickly because it might have made it look like I have feelings for Sirius... which I do. I just think they are becoming more sisterly now. I've been avoiding Sirius as well. I'm almost certain that when I properly talk to him next, it will be to finish whatever it was that we had.

Friday 17th December. I'd managed to finish the term without speaking a single word to James. I was going home tomorrow. As much as I didn't want to, I was glad to be getting away from the torture that the Hogwarts halls contained. I was glad to be putting some space between myself and James that was more than a castle. I might just be able to think properly and pull myself out of this infatuation. I was a little bit apprehensive about leaving the safety of the castle. If the _Daily Prophet_ were correct, then there were more and more attacks on muggles and muggle borns every day. I'd tried so hard not to think about Voldemort but attacks were increasing at an alarming rate and I was probably on his hit list.

I was sat in potions, the last lesson before lunch. Slughorn had given us a Christmas themed task to do, making a Christmas cheer potion. You'd think that we could just brew a cheering potion or use a cheering charm, but no. Wizards had to be specific. As it happened, I'd finished and there were still a few minutes to go. I took the chance to gaze over to where James and Sirius were working. Both of them looked extremely happy as they threw various slimy ingredients at each other. Their potions were looking decidedly angry; I was surprised that neither of them had blown up yet. Slughorn made a cough in their general direction and they both sheepishly got back to brewing. Their faces held ghosts of laughter on them as they tried not to laugh.

I heard the bell ring signalling the end of class and the beginning of lunch. Hearing it made me hungry. Had I been classically conditioned to think of food when I hear the lunch bell? As I stepped into the hall, I saw another one of my nightmares... Mistletoe. So far, I'd managed to avoid all mistletoe and all boys that stood near mistletoe. I had half a day left and then I would be free from all worries for a peaceful two weeks.

Mary and I took up our usual spots at the Gryffindor table.

"Ah, Last Hogwarts lunch of the year." Mary was also going home for the holidays. She began piling sandwiches onto her plate. "So Lily, still avoiding James?" I looked at her scathingly, she was going to wind me up in a minute.

"Yes. And you know I am. And you also don't need to ask why." I replied whilst picking up a carrot stick and popping it into my mouth. I spotted the marauders minus James walking towards us. "Should I get him a present?"

"Who?" Mary answered. Merlin, for a perceptive person, she really can't keep up with conversations.

"James. Should I get James a present? Only, I saw something I thought he might like on our last Hogsmeade trip and well... I was thinking about Owl ordering it."

Mary looked up from her food. I thought she was about to reply but to no avail, "Hi Remus!" he bent down and pecked her on the cheek, "Good afternoon Sirius, Peter. Finally made it then?" The boys sat down and helped themselves to the food. I'm sure a few incoherent sentences were said as they shovelled food into their mouths.

"I think I'm going to go to the library." I looked at my watch, 30 minutes until an afternoon of Transfiguration, "I'll see you all in a little while?" The boys nodded.

"Yes! You should Lily." Mary shouted as I was retrieving my bag. I turned to look at her perplexed, "Your idea? I think it's good." She clarified. This means I'll have to take a trip to the Owlery later as well. I nodded my thanks to Mary and skipped out of the hall.

My trip to the library was uneventful. I didn't even manage to write a single sentence of my holiday homework. My thoughts just drifted to a messy haired boy and his bright hazel eyes... I glanced down at my watch again and saw I had 10 minutes to get to class. I grabbed all my things together and prepared for a hasty exit. However, my exit was fumbled.

"OUCH!" As soon as I'd left the library, a person smacked into me sending my books flying from my hands and sending me straight to the floor in a muddled heap.

"Oh, Merlin I'm so sorry... Lily?" Oh, no. Not today.

"James, next time can you watch where you're going?" I said putting my hand to my head making sure my hair was smooth.

"Sorry, Lils. I thought I was late to Transfiguration. Here, let me help you up." He offered his hand which I gratefully took, and he pulled me to my feet. He then proceeded to stoop down and gather my books. I just smoothed down my robes and tried to make myself presentable. As he stood back up, I heard some girls giggling. I looked over at them to see what they were giggling at. Me? I looked up.

"Oh, no!" There, hanging right above me and James... mistletoe. James looked at me and saw where I was looking. He chuckled.

"Don't you want to kiss me, Miss Evans?" he grinned.

"Why, Mister Potter. Whatever gave you that idea?" I retorted. Of course I want to kiss you, you moron! What gave you the idea that I don't?

He glanced around at our growing audience, "She loves me." He told them simply, "I think she wants to be kissed." He chuckled again. "Do you want to be kissed Miss Evans?"

"Get it over with, Mister Potter." I tilted my face up, anxiously waiting. This is not how I wanted my first kiss with James to be. Although, it was sort of romantic in its own little way. I was expecting him to kiss my cheek. What he did next quite surprised me. Just as he was about to kiss my cheek, his hand found my face. It felt calloused on my cheek. He gently pulled my face around so our eyes were locking. He paused. I closed my eyes in anticipation. Finally he captured my lips. I almost instantaneously melted. His lips were smooth and he was clean shaven. James Potter was kissing me. And I wasn't rejecting him.

I realised that it was now more than a few seconds that I'd been kissing him. We were in our own little world. My books clattered to the floor. His arms wrapped around me and my hands found their way to his hair...

"JAMES!" a voice pulled us out of our reverie. I pulled away from him; both of us had shocked looks on our faces. I looked around at the crowd trying to spot where the voice was coming from. "JAMES! What the hell do you think you are doing?" It was Megan. She pushed through the crowd to face us. I moved away from him, my hand on my lips. "James, do you care to explain?" Our crowd was silent now as though they were expecting some kind of fight to break out.

I looked at James. He was still looking at me. Megan nudged him and he turned to look at her. "Mistletoe." He said simply and pointing above his head. Megan practically screamed and then slapped him. Hard. His hand flew to his cheek. I looked away in shame. Megan stormed off and I saw James run after her. I stooped to gather my books.

"Go on. Get lost. Show's over." I heard a voice shout. Sirius. I stood up to face him. A guilty look plastered my face. His expression was soft as he said, "I think we need to talk." As he pulled me through the crowd in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, I saw Mary with a triumphant look on her face and Remus standing next to her looking almost as jubilant. Why were they so happy? I'd probably just ruined my reputation. Not to mention my chances with James. He was going to hate me now.

Sirius pulled me to a halt just before the Transfiguration classroom.

"I think we should finish." He said. I didn't look at him but instead focused on my shoes. "I know you like James, Lily. And he likes you too. Me... I'm just in the way. A distraction if you will." I laughed.

"You'll always be like a brother to me Sirius." I said looking up at him.

"Please, Evans... not with what just happened between us." We both laughed at this and then shuddered involuntarily. "Come on. McGonagall's waiting."

"Sirius?" he looked back from the classroom door, "I was the prefect... In the bathroom with James." He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Good on him." He said nonchalantly and resumed his entrance to the classroom.

It didn't help that all through my Transfiguration lesson, I couldn't stop thinking about James. I was wondering where he'd gotten to. He certainly hadn't shown up to our lesson.

x-x-x-x-x

I don't know what had possessed me to kiss her. One second I was about to kiss her cheek, then my hand just reached up and pulled her lips to mine. She didn't resist. I was finally kissing Lily Evans. Her lips were soft against mine and tasted of cherry, her favourite. I let her books drop to the floor in favour of wrapping my arms around her. I felt her hands in my hair, the crowd forgotten...

"JAMES!" a voice pulled me out of my trance. Lily pushed away from me and I saw the shock on her face. My arms dropped to my side. I knew that angry voice. "JAMES! What the hell do you think you are doing?" It was Megan. She pushed through the crowd to face us. I refused to look away from Lily as she took a step backwards, her hand on her lips. "James, do you care to explain?" The crowd had gone silent, what were they expecting? A huge argument? I balled my hands up before releasing. I could not get angry at her. Only myself.

Megan nudged me and I turned to look at her. "Mistletoe." I said simply and pointing above my head. I was fully expecting her blow although I didn't expect it to hurt so much. Megan ran off. I had to explain to her what had happened. I took one last look at Lily who was staring at her fallen books before tearing off down the corridor to find Megan.

I knew she would be heading back to her dormitory so I took a shortcut hoping that I would reach the entrance before she did. What on earth was I going to say to her when I did reach her? Should I break up with her? Or would she break up with me?

I slipped out from behind a portrait that stood on the corridor that led to the Ravenclaw common room. I was quick, but she was quicker. I was nearly at the top of the spiral staircase when I saw her slip through the entrance of the common room. I reached the entrance finally and tapped the knocker. The beak of the eagle opened... question time.

"The longer I stand, the shorter I grow. What am I?" sang the musical voice. Stupid Ravenclaw's and their bloody questions. Think Potter, think! My mind hovered for a minute. All I could think of was kissing Lily Evans. I had to get in that damned common room. I glanced around the stairwell for a few seconds. It was lit with candles. Candles! The longer I stand, the shorter I grow!

"Candles!" I all but shouted, "You're a candle!" The door swung open and I ran across the empty blue and bronze common room over to the dormitory door. Yanking it open, I began climbing the stairs three at a time before I reached the sixth year girls room. I tried the door but it was locked. I banged loudly calling, "MEGAN! Megan I know you're in there!"

"Go away James Potter." I heard her muffled sob.

"Megan! Please... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me?" Yes I do. I should not lie. "Megan... please open the door. I just want to explain." The door clicked open to reveal a very dishevelled looking Megan, her eyes puffy and bloodshot and her hair in disaray, "Megan I'm s-"

"Save it, Potter." That shut me up, "I don't know why I agreed to go out with you. It was blatantly obvious that you weren't over her." She sniffed, "'He's asking me out' I said, 'he must be over her' I thought. But I was obviously wrong because there you are, snogging her in BROAD DAYLIGHT! In front of the _whole_ student body! Do you know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel stupid! They are all going to be whispering now, 'Oh, why would she go out with him?' and 'but he still loves Evans.'" She turned and walked back into her dorm. I followed and closed the door carefully. "Summer was fantastic, James. We had a lot of fun. I honestly thought you were over her. But then we got back to Hogwarts." She almost spat the words out. "I noticed straight away James. The looks. The staring. I knew it at once you weren't over her. I was competing with Lily Evans. _The_ Lily Evans. Perfect prefect. You've been acting so strange this year James. And now I see why. It's all because of _her_!"

"Megan, it isn't Lily's fault." I tried.

"It takes two to tango, James." She sat on her bed. Her bed where only weeks ago, I made my promise to forget Lily.

"I'm sorry, Megan. Please don't blame Lily for this though."

"You can't help loving who you do, James. I'm just sorry I didn't see it sooner." She said resignedly, "I knew this would happen. I just didn't know when." I knelt down in front of her and took up her hands which she was staring so intently at.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you Megan." I told her sincerely. She laughed and looked up at me, her deep blue eyes full of tears.

"No." She whispered, "I'm sorry for standing in the way." She smiled at me and it was then that I knew she wasn't mad.

"Megan, being with you... it was different. Nice different. We had fun. I know I had fun and I hope you did. I really hope we can still be friends." And I really meant it.

"Oh, Merlin! Did I do that?" What? She put a hand to my cheek and had a guilty look on her face. I laughed at her.

"I think this," I said point to my cheek, "is the least I deserve." We both grinned and stood up. I gave her a hug, "Does this means we're friends then?"

"I do believe that's an affirmative." She smiled up at me and then pushed me away. "Go on James. Get out of here. Could you imagine what Flitwick would say if he caught you in here!" We both laughed.

"Aye, aye captain!" I mock-saluted her as I exited the dorm and headed down to the common room.

"Oh and James?" Megan called from the dormitory door.

"What?" I shouted back, just pulling open the common room exit.

"Play nice!" I smiled and left the Ravenclaw common room.

A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now all I had to do was to not mess anything up. I formulated a plan in my head as I headed back to the Gryffindor tower. It involved not being too hasty and a few well written letters. I was certain it would work. Not so certain of the consequences. I heard the bell ring, signalling the end of classes and the end of term. It would take all my will power to avoid tracking Lily down on the train tomorrow and something really special to avoid her tonight. But I had to. It was all part of my new plan.

One way or another, I was going to finally win the heart of Lily Evans.

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Will he or won't he? We'll see :)

Anywhoooo, obviously I awoke from my dream this morning to find I'm still not JKR and I'm still poor :( boooooo!

Please review... idea's are welcome as my limited imagination is starting to fade :)


	10. Christmas Interludes

So I've almost completely changed this chapter. I didn't like it in the first place. So now I've finally got round to editing it and rewriting it. I hope you like.

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Christmas Interludes

5.56 am – Christmas day. Why am I awake? I should be luxuriating in my warm, comfy bed. But no. Padfoot has to come jumping on my bed at Merlin knows what o'clock in the morning singing Christmas carols. I could have actually murdered him. What's more annoying is that he can now legally use magic and therefore, when I didn't respond to him bouncing on my bed, I was promptly levitated upside down by the ankle with my sheets dropping to the floor. Thank Merlin for underwear.

"Jingle bells, Snivelly smells, Flitwick laid an egg. Pomfrey's singing Slughorns drinking, on this Christmas day!" This was all I'd heard all morning from Sirius. His version of 'Jingle bells' was starting to get a little irritating now. Every year he comes up with a new rendition of a Christmas song that includes at least one teacher and always something about the appearance of Severus Snape. He's like the Christmas version of the Sorting Hat. Last years' version of 'Good King Wenceslas' must have taken some planning to fill out all five verses.

"Pomfrey's-" There was an almighty crack and then silence. I heard my mothers' voice from upstairs.

"And I won't take it off unless you stop singing it! I know you love Christmas but really, Mr Potter and I would like to end the day with two sons. NOT ONE!" Mum was threatening murder again. As much as she loved Christmas, you could tell that by the thousands of gold and red decorations that lined our house, it was still quite early in the morning for Sirius to be regaling us with his singing. If you've ever heard him sing, then you'll understand what I mean.

I grinned wolfishly as Sirius entered the kitchen looking quite sullen. It nearly made me feel slightly sorry for him. He saw my smirk and gave me, what Remus termed as 'The glare of death'. I shovelled some of my cereal into my mouth as Sirius began to make wild gestures with his hands. Sirius never was good with charades. This time I knew exactly what he was trying to say. The points to his throat, the slitting of said throat and then over dramatically falling to the floor.

"No mate, I'm not allowed to do magic outside of school yet. _Remember_?" I said, smirking at him as he lay twitching on the kitchen floor in an attempt at feigning death. He sprang up and began pleading with me. "You should have paid attention when we began to learn non verbal spells." He huffed and grabbed a bowl of cereal from the side board. Ok, Sirius singing is bad enough; Sirius eating is the worst site you'll ever see. Why all those women aren't put off him after seeing him eat, really baffles me. Quickly leaving the kitchen, really, there is only so much of that a person can watch, I decided that it was time to make first contact. I'd been working on the advice from Mary that contacting Lily too soon would make me seem desperate. Mary had owled me yesterday to say that Lily had been mooning over my lack of contact and that today was the perfect day to owl. Thank Merlin for conspiring friends and lovable owls.

x-x-x-x-x

7.22 am – Christmas day. Today, I die. Of mortal embarrassment as my parents attempt to fit our future in-law's around our tiny table for Christmas dinner. Why am I awake? Because Petunia just _had_ to get up at ridiculous o'clock in order to make sure everything was perfect for her whale of a fiancé. She's been clanging around all morning. Urgh! I can't wait until the wedding is over and she's moved out. Then, the house will be left in peace and I'll be able to get valuable beauty sleep. Thanks to that mistletoe mishap just before... well, anyway, it's been on my mind ever since and it's driving me insane.

I chanced a glance to the window. It wasn't snowing. Nor had it snowed. It would have snowed at Hogwarts. I could be enjoying a snowball fight. But no. I was at home. Where it wasn't snowing. And the only entertainment would be the Queen's speech at lunch time. Oh, and the commotion that was surely going to happen as Mum's seating plan got screwed up because Vernon Dursley and his parents are as big as houses and his sister even larger... they aren't going to fit on our sofas, never mind around the dinner table.

Anyway, it's been eight days since the mishap and I haven't heard anything from mishap maker. I thought he might have at least tried to make first contact on the Hogwarts Express. Or perhaps a last ditch attempt before I fell through the barrier into the muggle side of Kings Cross station. But nothing. Not even a poxy letter. Of course, Mary told me not to worry about it but this is me. I overanalyse everything. So not hearing a peep from James Potter all holiday so far was really getting to me.

I glanced at my clock again. 7.34 am. Damn. Still hours of torture ahead. Why does time always seem to go so slowly in the muggle world? Naturally, all my homework is done. It was the only thing I could do to take my mind off the idiot kisser and his lack of communication skills. So I've finished that and now I have nothing, zero, zilch to take my mind off that blasted marauder. I stared back out of the window. My mind wondered to what my friends would be doing right now. Probably still sleeping. Why did I have to be the freak that wakes up at stupid o'clock in the morning? If Mary were here, I'd have had a witty remark to that question. I fumbled around for my battered copy of _Pride and Prejudice_. I hadn't had a chance to read it while at school because the homework was piled so high. And of course, when I wasn't doing homework, I was busy with... well that is over now.

A few pages later, I looked over at my clock again. 8.02 am. It was a bit lighter outside now. I decided to hop out of bed and make myself presentable. A nice long shower and blow dry my hair properly. I may as well take my sweet time so I don't get drafted into Project Perfect House by Petunia. The Christmas lights were all switched off. A sure sign that my mum wasn't up yet. I was careful not to tread on the creaky floorboard as I made my way over to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I made sure it was going to be hot. My mind was wandering again. My thoughts led me to think of James and that kiss...

I shook my head to snap myself out of the trance. It wasn't working though. As I stepped into the shower, my mind turned once again to James Potter. What he was doing right now. If he'd opened his presents yet. His soft lips. His soft lips on mine... I shook my head again and stuffed it right into the stream of the shower. Anyway, he hadn't even so much as acknowledged my existence since the episode with the mistletoe. A look, a smile... anything just to know that he didn't hate me. Oh Merlin, now I was starting to think like the silly bimbo's that pine over any guy that doesn't pay the slightest bit of attention after a date.

I was brought out of my ponderings by a banging on the door.

"Lily! Lily, love, you've been in there for half an hour now." My dad shouted from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Sorry dad! I'll be out in just a minute." I shouted back to him.

I took my time blow drying my hair so I could get it smooth and silky. I glanced again at my clock again. 8.53 am.

I went back to staring at myself in the mirror. A light tapping on my window brought me back to the real world. I looked over and there it was. The owl that nearly tried to kill me that one time. James's owl. Bertie. Was this it? I leaped over my bed to the window to let it in. Clever owl jumped in and held out his leg for me. I pulled the letter off, excitement building at the thought of the contents. Bertie gave as soft hoot as I gently patted his head.

I settled onto my bed to read the letter.

_Dear Lily,_

_Sirius's singing is driving me insane. I know Christmas is supposed to be all about cheer and whatnot, but I think he's been chugging some of that Christmas cheer potion we were forced to brew that time. Damn Slughorn for his 'brilliant' ideas. _

_How is your holiday going so far? Have you had the future in-law's over yet? _

_Happy Christmas._

_James._

_P.S Mum has silenced the goof now. Thank Merlin, because I didn't think my ear drums could take much more!_

That's it? Nothing mentioned about the incident. Not a hint that he wants to say anything about that kiss? That kiss was amazing and he doesn't want to talk about it? Well, two can play your game Potter!

_**James, **_

_**My holiday is going alright. My sister is the bane of my existence with her constant cleaning, moaning, whining and pining for that whale of a fiancé. He and his family are expected over this afternoon for dinner so I hope you have a spare room for me as my house will no longer exist after the whales have crushed it!**_

_**I'm sure Sirius's singing is lovely. He has such a nice voice haha! Your pain my friend! And don't you dare think about sending me a howler with his rendition of 'Jingle Bells' or I'll have to think of a suitable punishment for killing my ears!**_

_**Lily.**_

_**P.S. Send me some Christmas cheer potion so I can slip some into Dursley's drink! **_

There. Stick that in your teacup Potter!

_Lily,_

_Unfortunately, I no longer have any Christmas cheer potion left. Padfoot it seems has actually drunk the lot... here I was thinking I'd been joking. However, I do have a rather useful hair loss potion that I could send over in a jiffy._

_Damn, I was seriously considering sending that howler... are you sure you don't want to hear it? It really is the most hilarious thing... to start with anyway._

_J._

_P.S. Are you feeding Bertie some form of chocolate? _

Aha! Yes I am feeding Bertie chocolate. Chocolate frogs for that matter.

_**J.**_

_**Hair loss potion would be fabulous. Not that Dursley has an awful lot of the stuff but it would work wonders on that ugly house he calls a sister. Might finally get rid of that awful moustache!**_

_**You could write the lyrics down. I might get the jist of the hilarity then... Is he still silenced?**_

_**L.**_

_**P.S. I'm not feeding Bertie anything... He might have stolen a chocolate frog right out of my hand though.**_

_L._

_Here's that hair loss potion. I want to hear all the gruesome details once you've done the deed. You're not such a good girl after all. Wait until the school gossips find out._

_He is most certainly still silenced. If he wasn't, I'd be banging on your door right now begging for refuge! He's begging with me to un-silence him but I've said no on account that I'm underage._

_J._

_P.S. Don't let him steal chocolate frogs. He'll get too fat to fly!_

_**J.**_

_**You knew I wasn't the good girl everyone suspects already but don't tell the gossips that! Of course, I'll share the gory details with you. Every last chin hair.**_

_**I'm sure being underage hasn't stopped you from performing underage magic before. But I understand why you wouldn't take the charm off him... then you'd have to come running to me!**_

_**L.**_

_**P.S. The owl was already quite fat.**_

_L._

_Of course I know you're a bad girl. And I know exactly how naughty you can be. I should really take that silencing charm off him... I'd be round yours in a shot to take advantage of your naughtiness._

_J._

_P.S. Keep feeding him then. When he's too fat to take your reply, I'll just have to come and get it personally._

_**J.**_

_**Come on then.**_

And now I wait. Will he come to mine?

'LILY!' Oh, bugger. Looks like waiting will have to er... wait.

'Yes Mum?' I called back to her.

'THE DURSLEY'S ARE HERE! COME DOWN NOW' She shouted back up. I hate parents. So many rules and chores and obeying requests. Bugger. I pocketed my newly acquired hair loss potion from James and made my way downstairs readying myself for possibly the most boring afternoon in the history of me. A part of me wished that James would actually turn up on my doorstep. If not for taking advantage of my decidedly naughty mood today, then at least to make the afternoon travel a little quicker. Damn Sirius and his penchant for Christmas cheer potion.


	11. New Year Shindigs

New Year Shindigs

I could damn my Mum from calling me to dinner on Christmas day. Merlin's underpants! I was just getting into a very interesting conversation with Lily and then Mum goes and ruins it all. Not only that, but she also went and took the silencing charm off Sirius. Dum luck. I think my ears are bleeding. Anyway, I'd returned to my room to find not one, but two owls waiting for me. I picked up the letter off Bertie's leg first knowing it would be Lily.

_**J.**_

_**Come on then.**_

Damn! I'd missed what was clearly an invitation to Lily's. She was daring me to go over there and take advantage of her naughtiness and my _mother_ just had to go and ruin it all. I could have been charming her over so I could get to kiss her again. Just thinking of kissing her made me tauten. I need to get some self control... and a cold shower. Maybe a bath... NO! I hadn't been able to go near a bath since the bathroom episode with Lily. Merlin, that woman does things to me.

So after my freezing shower, I thought about writing a reply back to Lily. It had been hours and I figured she might have forgotten about our previous correspondence. Of course, the thought had crossed my mind that she might have been a little bit peeved that I hadn't messaged back or even shown up on her doorstep. That thought gave me the most awesome idea of going. I mean really going. I could seriously turn up. I could turn up, ring her doorbell, she would answer and I would sweep her into a passionate kiss. What in the world of Merlin's socks? I need another shower.

I picked up the second letter. The owl who delivered it nipped my fingers for taking so long to get to him before taking off into the cold night sky.

_For the eyes of James Potter and Sirius Black._

_Dear James and Sirius,_

_Hope you are having a lovely holiday so far. I am writing to invite you to a little shindig at New Year. I say little, it will literally be you Marauders, myself, Liz, Mary and Lily... oh and my annoying family. Anyway, be there. Just in case you can't remember the way to my house, you just cross the street._

_Merry Christmas._

_Jennifer Salmon. A.K.A Jenny._

_P.S. Everyone else has said they're coming so we're expecting you. Oh, and it's on New Years Eve. Oh, and your parents will be there too. HA!_

Excellent. I'd be seeing Lily sooner than I thought. And I might get to kiss her at the end of the New Year countdown. Unless she's decided to hate me for not replying to her last letter. I quickly scrawled out a reply to Jenny telling her a) can her parents uninvite my parents and b) we were touched by her concern she thought we might get lost on our way over. Then I penned a note to Lily telling her I'd see her on New Years Eve. Now I had something to look forward to.

'PADFOOT!' I called, 'WE'RE GOING OVER TO SALMON'S FOR NEW YEAR!'

'YEAH, MATE! I ALREADY KNOW!' came his muffled response.

x-x-x-x-x

So I admit it, I was a little miffed that James didn't just magically appear on my doorstep on Christmas day. I would have really enjoyed a little respite from the bores that made up the Dursley family. However, I'm now back in magical territory and time was going very swiftly. Mary and I had arrived at Jenny's house/mansion on the 30th so all us girls could travel into Diagon Alley to do a bit of shopping.

Mary and I stopped at Florean Fortesque's for some ice cream while Lizzie and Jenny went over to Madam Malkins to have a look at some new dress robes just in. While we were stood in the queue for our ice creams, Mary took her chance to collar me.

'So, you've spoken to James then?' How did she know?

'We've corresponded.' I said nonchalantly. Ooh, how grown up am I?

'You'll be able to see him tomorrow night, you know. He only lives over the road from Jenny's place. I'm surprised he didn't see us both arrive and stalk over to whisk you away. Butterscotch and chocolate please.' She told the assistant before turning back to me, 'has he said much about your little incident?'

'No. In fact, we didn't speak much past Sirius's superstar singing abilities.' I could feel a blush creeping up my neck. How attractive.

The assistant passed Mary our ice creams, 'Thank you.' She paid the 2 sickles and we went to sit down. 'I think he really likes you, you know.'

'Really? Because I think he was put on this earth just to annoy the living daylights out of me. He has me totally confused, disappointed, wound up, head over heels and just...' I trailed off. Mary just stared at me while licking her ice cream. 'He drives me insane. One minute he's all gentlemanly like, the next he's rude, arrogant and ignoring me, and then he's neither... rather he's outrageously flirting with me...' I remembered the bathroom incident. 'I wish he could just pick one characteristic and stick with it.'

'Which characteristic do you think he should use all the time then?' Well how do I know the answer to that? Wasn't the whole point in being confused to not know what on earth was going on?

'Why can't he just be a normal human being and stop messing with my head? How is that for an answer.' Mary just stared at me.

'Did you give him that Christmas present you bought him?' She asked finally.

'Since when have I had the chance to give him anything?' Does that sound dirty? I think it does a little bit.

'Oh, I don't know. You might have bumped into him in another bathroom or something... perhaps another sprig of mistletoe...' Mary obviously thought my comment was dirty. 'I have a bit of a confession to make Lils. And please don't hate me but I thought it would do some good and well...' Yes Mary? She looked like some madwoman possessed, 'And well, that day when you ran into James outside of the library... there was no mistletoe there...'

'Yes there was... I saw it.' OK, now I'm really confused.

'Well, it wasn't there until I...' Until you what Mary? 'Until I magicked it there.'

I pictured my jaw dropping. I must have looked like a giant fish or something. 'Oh.'

Nothing more was said on the matter, because Jenny and Lizzie decided to grace us with their presence complete with arms laden with bags. Well, that was food for thought. I had a little meddlesome friend who was probably almost certainly conspiring with James Potter behind my back. Just because not everybody has a simple love life. I'm sure we'd have managed it on our own thank you very much... would have just taken a little bit longer.

Mary's words had me thinking for the rest of the day about the whole situation with James Potter. I was totally confused about everything to do with the situation. Would we still be ignoring each other had Mary not conveniently placed that Mistletoe? And then I thought to Megan... and thinking of her made me think that she might have been the reason that James didn't come over on Christmas day. I might not be with Sirius anymore, but he was still with Miss Ravenclaw Prefect. This just annoyed me. Now I was annoyed with Potter. And I'm also back to calling him Potter. And that was where sleep took over.

I'd be seeing him in less than 4 hours and I had no idea what to say to him. It was OK when we were sending messages through Bertie... he couldn't see the unattractive blush on my face.

It didn't help that one of my so called friends kept throwing furtive glances my way. Really, here I was thinking that Miss MacDonald was my confidante, yet she'd been speaking to James about me behind my back. Thankfully, she hadn't told him the full extent of my feelings towards him... In fact, nobody even realised anything like that was going on... well, Jenny and Lizzie were completely oblivious anyway, and probably Peter too.

T minus 2 hours and 7 minutes until he arrives. Remus is here already and Jenny has us all preparing food for tonight. I hate not being able to use magic outside of school. Cutting carrots up would be so much easier with a wand.

T minus 21 minutes and counting. Us girls are getting ready now. I don't know why we are bothering. It's not as if it's going to be some massive party. Just a small Shindig with the Salmon's, the Potter's and us. Lizzie insisted that she wanted to wear her new dress robes though so here we are, preening in front of mirrors and trying on all of Jenny's shoes. She has millions... I swear, I've never seen a shoe collection so big that it warrants its own walk-in wardrobe.

I heard the doorbell ring about 6 minutes early. Mary looked over at me as I took a gulp of air. I don't quite know why I was so nervous. It was just James Potter. The same James Potter that had been the bane of my existence for the past five years. Oh, the same James Potter who in 3rd year, claimed he was going to marry me... The same James Potter who was downstairs with his parents waiting for the rest of us to saunter in. As we neared the top of the staircase, only four voices were distinguishable. Yes, James wasn't there. Not yet. I had some more time to compose myself.

'Ah, Lily, Mary,' Mrs Salmon greeted us as we attempted not to trip down the stairs, 'We'd like you to meet Mr and Mrs Potter.' We greeted them with handshakes. Mrs Potter seemed very nice, almost exactly as I'd imagined her. James was the spitting image of Mr Potter who unnervingly had that same mischievous glint in his eye as James.

'Lily as in Evans?' Mr Potter asked.

'Yes, I suppose that's me.' I replied not knowing what was coming next.

'Oh, it's so lovely to meet you at last.' Mrs Potter said pulling me into a hug. I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or not. 'We've heard so much about you... it seems that you have quite captured our son's attention.' She turned to Mr Potter, 'She's more beautiful than we expected isn't she, Charles?'

I was spared yet more embarrassment with arrival of the object of my constant thoughts these days. Sirius sauntered in followed closely by James. My breath caught in my throat. Glances were thrown between the two of us by his parents as though they were waiting for some kind of reaction. Our eyes were locked on one another but neither of us said anything. It was Sirius who broke the silence in the hallway.

'Alright, Red. How goes it, Mary?' well that wasn't awkward.

'Hi Sirius!' Mary and I both chimed, 'Hello, James.'

'MacDonald, Lily.' I hear James mumble, 'Mum, I tried to find that elf wine you wanted but I could only find that French stuff... you know the champagne?'

Remus chose that point to appear by Mary's side and we were all directed into the Salmon's living room.

T minus 3 hours and 24 minutes... I'd started a new countdown. The countdown to midnight.

3 hours and 11 minutes later and I'd somehow manage to retreat to the kitchen while all the others were playing muggle board games... apparently, this particular group of wizards love them. Anyway, James had barely said two words to me all night. I didn't know if I should be disappointed or if this was all part of Mary's little plan to get us together. So there I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at myself in the back of a spoon.

'You, really don't need to do that. You haven't got anything on your face or in your teeth.' I jumped.

'James! You startled me.' Well, I thought everyone was too engrossed in their current game of Pictionary.

James sat himself opposite me and took the spoon out of my hand. 'You know,' he said thoughtfully, 'I remember back in 4th year that you threatened to chop off my manhood with a rusty spoon if I ever asked you to Hogsmeade again.' He chuckled.

'I remember saying that.' I smiled. 'You never did ask me to Hogsmeade again.'

'I've only just got over my fear of spoons you know... you gave me nightmares about them.' I had no choice but to laugh at him. 'I'm glad that amuses you.' We fell into a comfortable silence.

'So your mum took the silencing charm off Sirius I hear.' I really could hear. His laughter was so loud just then, the whole street probably heard.

'Yeah, funnily enough, she threatened him with castration if he sang one more word.' I giggled. 'Your house is still standing then?'

'Yeah, just about. I'm afraid I can't say the same for our sofas. Vernon's sister, Marge, she broke my dad's favourite armchair.' We both chuckled then.

'And the hair loss potion?' He asked hopefully.

'Yeah, did that stuff have a timer effect placed on it because I was expecting instantaneous results... seriously, I was staring at her moustache for hours! My mum pulled me aside at one point and told me to stop staring at other people's unfortunate appearances.' James was laughing so loud, 'It worked though... not 'til she got home though... quite disappointing really. Your futile attempt to keep me amused through the most boring 5 hours of my life failed miserably. I do believe you owe me a good time.'

James's head shot up at this exclamation. 'A good time eh, Evans.'

'As in marauder fun, pranks and the such... not a date, Potter.' Oh, who am I kidding? I'd do anything for a date with him. I'm just trying to keep the sexual tension to a minimum here.

'Who said anything about a date, Evans?' He had that cocky grin plastered to his face.

'You were bound to say it sooner or later... I just decided to tell you first.' I could feel the blush painting my cheeks a humiliating shade of red.

'I love it when you blush, Evans. Means you're not so infallible.' He began to move his way around the table.

'Nobody's perfect, Potter.' He was right in front of me now, towering over me.

A shout came from the living room, 'OI! PRONGS, RED! THE COUNTDOWN IS ABOUT TO START!'

'Oh, I don't know about that, Evans.'

'10!'

'The name's Lily.'

'9!' He grabbed my hands and pulled me out of my chair.

'8!'

'Nice to meet you, Lily.'

'7!'

'My name is Potter.' My face fell.

'6!'

'James Potter.' He said with his trademark grin. I grinned.

'5!'

'But you can call me James.'

'4!'

'That's really corny, James.'

'3.' He whispered, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

'2.' I purred.'

'1.' He growled. 'Happy New Year, Lily.'

'Happy New Year, James.' He leaned in. I could feel his breath on my cheeks. I closed my eyes in anticipation. Our noses touched.

'HAPPY NEW YEAR!' Sirius! We sprang apart and he dropped my hands. Sirius clapped James on the back and gave me a swift hug and smacked a fat kiss on my cheek as the others piled in to wish us both happy New Year. I tried to hide my frustration as best I could while giving everyone well wishes for the year to come... the well wishes were more like death wishes.

Urgh! Foiled by the official kissing holiday!

* * *

I'm so behind with my posts. But I think I'm over my writers block for now.

I'll try and get some more chapters up soon :)


	12. Forgotten Missives

12. Forgotten Missives

Sometimes, life is unfair. I know this because today is my birthday. Now, I know that birthdays are good things, but you see, today is my birthday and it just so happens to be a Monday. So, as it's Monday, that means my day is to start off with double Arithmancy. Then double Transfiguration. The end of the day isn't so bad, double Potions. I know the end of my day won't be so bad because Professor Slughorn is so lovely to me. In fact, even though it is my birthday, I actually have a present for him.

Anyway back to the point in hand. Sometimes, life is unfair because today is my birthday, it's also a Monday and I have to start the day with double Arithmancy, and I'm sat here on my own at the Gryffindor table eating my breakfast, ALONE, because my friends are normal and have free periods before their classes start so they are all still in bed. And to top that off, I haven't spoken to James Potter since that disastrous New Year party! Did I mention that sometimes life isn't fair?

So, I've taken to once again staring at myself in the back of my spoon and trying to ignore the weird looks from first years. I'm trying to stop my mind from wandering back to that party. I'm really annoyed. And confused. And hurt and upset. All of these emotions because of one silly black haired boy with stupid glasses. Ah, I hear screeching, that means the owls are here. I wonder what could be arriving for me today... as it's my birthday and all.

Excellent. I have decided that Birthdays are good things despite the fact that this one is on a Monday. Mum and Dad have sent me a good haul... all these sweets should keep me going until the next Hogsmede trip. So gifted am I, even Petunia sent me a card... looks pretty squished though, I'll bet that great oaf of hers sat on it.

'Ooh, that's a lot of presents, Red... what's the occasion?' Sirius plonked himself down beside me and started picking through my sweets. Now, I'm a little miffed and I glare at him until he realises I've not responded, 'What? What's with the death glares?' I shoved his hand away from my lovely goodies.

'Sirius, what day is it?' I asked extremely politely considering that I'm extremely miffed.

'Err, Monday?' Ding ding, clever boy!

'And the date?' I ask, again, extremely politely.

'31st January?' Correct again.

'Right, and what happens on the 31st of January every year which means I get post?' I'm getting a little narked now. He's looking thoughtful, stroking his chin... I'm waiting for the light bulb moment.

'Erm...' I begin packing up my sweets in a huff because he's obviously forgotten, 'Oh, Lily! Of course I haven't forgotten something as important as your birthday!' Immediately forgiven. 'Now c'mere and give us a hug!' He pulls me in for a bone crunching squeeze and twirls me around, sets me down and gives me a big fat kiss on the cheek. 'And because you're so funny to wind up, and you've been such a good sport, I have a present for you.' There's more? He hands me a parcel covered in brown paper. 'Go on, open it!' I ripped the paper off the parcel and let it fall to the table.

'Sirius! I can't believe it! Is this really for me?' A special, magical edition of Pride and Prejudice. My favourite muggle book!

'It's from the Marauders.' He said, beaming at my surprise, 'There's something tucked away in there for you, but I've been told to tell you to open it in private.' I found what he was talking about... looked like a letter of some form. 'Anyway, James said to tell you that he'd see you in a few minutes in Arithmancy.' I glanced down at my watch. Crap! 5 minutes to get to the other side of the school.

'Thank you so much, Sirius.' I told him as I started packing my things up.

'I'll see you in Transfiguration,' he called, 'and we're having lunch in the common room today!' he had to shout because I was already running out of the great hall.

Lunchtime. I'm having an extremely good day so far. James spoke to me in Arithmancy... not that there was much time to say anything when Professor Sinistra insists on everyone working in silence. But it's a massive leap forward since New Year. I can't help the huge Cheshire grin on my face either. Then in Transfiguration, it was like everything just seemed to make sense and I could do it! My wand movements were perfect and my incantations were spot on and McGonagall even gave me 10 points for Gryffindor... A first! And now, it's lunchtime and my friends have somehow managed to set the common room up to make it look like a child's tea party! I have the best friends ever!

'Come on Lily! We're playing magical, musical chairs!' Mary shouted. This could be dangerous! Turns out that the magical in magical, musical chairs meant that when the music stopped, any random chair would just disappear whether you were sat on it or not. I'm sure a few people have got bruises in rather sensitive areas. Sirius's was the best... he was bouncing up and down on the chair thinking he'd won when it just disappeared mid bounce... he took lots of pride in showing us all his magnificent bruised buttocks until he realised that it hurt too much to sit!

'Just Lily and James left!' Jenny shouted. Now, the last round of magical, musical chairs and there are still two chairs left, whoever picks the chair that doesn't disappear, wins. So me and James are meandering around the chairs while some random Celestina Warbeck tune is playing in the background.

'I'm gonna win this one, Evans.' James challenges.

'Not if I get there first, Potter!' I stuck my tongue out at him. Our friends were laughing and giggling away while watching our dance of wits... or lack thereof.

'Don't stick your tongue out, Evans!'

'Why not, Potter?'

'It's not ladylike.' I stuck my tongue out again.

'Never complained before, Potter.' There was a pregnant pause. Oh, crap the music stopped! What ensued next can only be considered as a mad dash to sit on a seat... the same seat, 'gerroff, Potter!'

'No way, I was here first!'

'Whatever happened to chivalry?' I said poking him in the chest.

'It ran away with your ladylikeness!' he poked my forehead.

'Touch-aargh!' The seat disappeared from underneath us and we ended up in a pile of tangled limbs. I could hear the laughter erupt around us. I turned over to try and get up and ended up meeting James's stare. 'Guess this means we're both losers?'

'Or winners.' I just stared at him until he broke the moment. He pushed up off the floor and pulled me with him, 'I think that means our dear Lily's party is over, I hear Potions calling!' A unanimous groan erupted throughout our little group of friends. Just as I was climbing through the portrait, I felt a tug on my hand. I turned around to see James, 'Here, this is for you.' He held out a small piece of parchment towards me. I took it from his outstretched hand but before I could read it, he pushed past and pulled me out through the portrait door and towards our gaggle of laughing friends.

_Tonight. 8pm. Library._

Well what in Merlin's saggy left buttock is that supposed to mean? I showed Mary the note and she had no idea what it means either,

'That has to be the most confusing note anybody has ever sent.' She checked it over again, turning it over in her hands, 'Are you sure he didn't give you anything with it?' I shook my head, 'Hmmm, very strange... He must have had a bludger to the head recently.'

'Never mind recently. I always thought he was dropped on his head at birth.' I took the note from Mary and pocketed it.

'Would explain a lot I guess.' Mary shrugged. Totally useful best friend there. She's supposed to be the one with all the helpful suggestions. 'What present did the marauders get you?' she asked. I pulled out my lovely new copy of Pride and Prejudice and showed her, 'Oooh! One of my favourites. How did they know?'

'Well, I figured I've spent enough time around them recently at one time or another for them to realise that my old copy is so battered, its missing pages.'

Mary was still examining the book when she came across the envelope, 'What's this?' She turned it over, 'Say's _open me alone_. Say, Lils, you don't think he means for you to be in the Library alone tonight so you can open this?' I could kiss Mary! I take back all I said about her being useless!

7.57pm. Now I'm wondering if I should open this at 8pm on the dot, or if I should open it now. Decisions. Well, if Madam Pince stops staring at me as though she thinks I'm up to something, I might be able to concentrate on the task at hand. As it is, I reckon she thinks that I'm planning something as I've been sat here for the past 10 minutes or so, blindly staring at an envelope probably looking as though I'm attempting a book burning with my mind.

7.59pm. I'm not waiting any longer. I rip it open and pull out the parchment inside.

_Our past together is fun,_

_And today we make our memories._

_Our future will be our history,_

_But can you solve this mystery?_

_You may not think he's witty,_

_In fact, he calls you Mitsy._

_We all say it's a bore,_

_But Batty eases the chore._

_Find me on the shelf,_

_And don't call a house elf!_

What. The. Hell? Fun and games? Do I really have time? I piece the bits together. Binns calls me Mitsy on a daily basis so it has something to do with History of Magic, which definitely lends itself to being boring. _Batty eases the chore_? The marauders call McGonagall, Minnie. Would they dare call Bathilda Bagshot, Batty? Only one way to find out. I got up, carefully concealing the message in my bag and headed for the history section. Sure enough, there was _A History of Magic_ poking out of the shelf. I picked it up and another envelope fell out. I tore it open immediately, dropping the big leather bound tomb to the floor, earning myself a hiss from Pince.

_So you've found me!_

_Or have you?_

_Leave the library and head to Astronomy,_

_Take the right course and you'll find one anomaly._

Right, off towards the astronomy tower. The castle is eerily quiet for a Monday night. And quite dark as well. I'm suddenly wondering if this all isn't just one big joke to scare me out of my wits. I keep walking, painfully aware how loud my footsteps are as they echo around hallway. Why did I have to do this alone? I hear a noise up ahead and walk toward it. It sounds like music and I can see light. I hurry towards it and find it coming from an abandoned classroom. I enter the classroom expecting to find something, anything, but it's just empty. With the lights on. With music playing. I feel disappointment creep up on me. I'm about to turn to leave when the door slams shut behind me. What on earth? The lights and the music turn off at the same time. Oh shit! What in Dumbledore's beard is going on? I light my wand and look up. My wand catches something moving in the light. I head towards it when out of nowhere, a face jumped into my vision.

'BOO!' I screamed.

The lights came on and there was a loud, 'SURPRISE!'

'Oh my God!' I grinned while clutching my heart, poor ticker! There were all my friends, Mary, Jenny, Lizzy and the marauders, nearly everyone from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and a few Ravenclaws.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY!' everyone shouted. The room was decorated with lots of scarlet and gold balloons and banners and streamers. Merlin, I could kill them!

'What's this all for?' I asked Mary after everyone had settled into the party atmosphere. There was music, dancing, drinking... drinking games...

'Well, we couldn't let your coming of age go without a bang, Lils!' She shouted at me over the loud music. 'It was all James's idea!' I looked over toward where James was lounging against a wall, chatting idly with a 4th year Ravenclaw boy who I recognised from their Quidditch team. He mock saluted me and I smiled back at him in thanks.

'I can't believe there are so many people here.'

'Well, why would anybody miss the chance to have a party on a school night?' Mary giggled.

'I'm just going to get some air, it's so hot in here. Couldn't the marauders have thought of air conditioning?' As I meandered through to the door, people greeted me and gave me hugs and well wishes. I finally managed to escape into the cool hallway. It felt like being plunged into ice water. I sat on a window ledge and stared out at the moonlit, snow covered grounds of Hogwarts. This is what I wanted for Christmas. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice the presence beside me until he spoke.

'Happy Birthday, Lily.' I turned with a start and looked at him.

'Thanks, James.' He sat down beside me and looked out of the window at the same landscape.

'I've come to give you your present.' He said in a quiet voice, 'I wanted so badly to see you at Christmas because I wanted to give you your gift then.' He turned to look at me, 'And then, I didn't have a chance at New Year because of...' He trailed off, 'I've been wondering how to get you alone again ever since.'

'James...'

'Lily... Can we do the countdown again?'

'Why do you need a countdown?'

'It helps.'

'Ok... 3.'

'2.' He leaned toward me.

'1.' I whispered. There was a pregnant pause as our noses touched before his lips claimed mine. Soft at first, his stubble tickled my lips. He threaded his fingers into my hair and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. Our tongues danced until we broke apart, grinning and gasping for air.

'I have wanted to do that for so long.' He whispered. He held my head in his hands, our foreheads touching, 'But there always seems to be something that gets in the way.' We kissed again, this time with more fervour, more need. I meshed my fingers into his already messed up hair. A small cough interrupted our reverie. We looked up to see which of our friends was about to be Avarda'd. Mary. And she's got that annoying _I told you so_ look on her face... smug cow!

'When you two have finished sucking the breath out of each other, we have a cake and candles to blow out, Lily.' I stuck my tongue out her. She just smirked and turned back into the room.

'Something always gets in the way.' I started to get up.

'Where do you think you're going?' James asked grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me back down to his lap.

'Er, to blow out my candles?' I replied.

'She said when we're finished... I'm not finished yet.' He grinned that lopsided Potter grin of his and pulled me back to his lips.

Life is awesome. Life is so awesome, because today is my birthday. And not only is today my birthday, but I've got the best birthday present ever. Life is awesome because today is my birthday and I've got the best present ever, because I'm snogging James Potter.


End file.
